Chaos Called Creation

tumblr

2011-01-16T06:23:00.002+08:00

http://chaosintheAM.tumblr.com/

because i now blog from my iPhone or Blackberry. follow if needed. thanks.

meaningless conversation vs. faux opinions

2010-11-17T14:34:00.003+08:00

why are you wearing a dress?
to look more ladylike. plus so that i don't look like a my-best-friend-is-a-dyke next to you.
but that is a good thing.
good thing that i will look like a dyke next to you?
yes.
*insert an indescribable facial expression here*
so at least i don't have to defend myself when other guys would want to shag you.
i think you are one of those psychotic edward cullen type of men.
that is a bad thing how? everyone wants to be an Edward Cullen
i am not going to have this fight over somebody who fucking GLITTERS. i pity whoever that actually dates you.
aren't we dating?
i guess not.
how come?
you just HAD to include Edward Cullen into this didn't you?

this is stupid. YOU are stupid. tee hee!

anime boys

2010-11-17T12:39:00.003+08:00

i am not much of a fan of asian studs but this is beyond sexy. i am always amazed at how the Japanese could make them jap boys look so HOT in anime but in reality not every japanese boy you see has chiseled features and a 6-pack rack of abs to boot. however i see potential in these. like toffees in summer. yummers!

intensity at it's prime

2010-11-14T10:30:00.003+08:00

Nicolas Vazquez; the man behind the lens, which i must add should be in front of the camera too ;)

MAKING OF Shooting VAZQUEZ NICOLAS from trya on Vimeo.

Okay so maybe i did not give props to this man as much as he deserves. The fact that he personally messaged me on Facebook proves how bloggers should give more credit to people who actually takes the awesome photos and not just who's on it. Here's for you Nicolas Vazquez. I must say kudos for the awesome shots of the dreadlocked chick. adding Nikkfurie's A la Mante was genius too.

http://www.nicolasvazquez.com/

on why we should switch places

2010-11-10T09:56:00.003+08:00

Jay Mawson

if you weren't such a sleaze, i will without a doubt prick tease.

mr. chaos, where are my bones?

2010-11-09T09:38:00.003+08:00

nicholas vazquez

i want to be her just as much as she is already me.

i'm ready to be heartbroken.

now that you are gone

2010-09-22T10:27:00.003+08:00

i miss my friends who are at every part of the world right now except here.

pre-22

2010-08-29T23:34:00.002+08:00

this is tragic as the other tragic stories i have lived with. today i woke up in a state that people in America would pay $300 for therapy with. i am almost at the verge of tears every 5 minutes. and listening to my own heavy breathing does not sound sexy at all. cold sweats? check! racing heartbeat? check! i know i've been writing about it a lot recently. with the escalation of work i suppose things have reached it's boiling point leaving me at this depressing state of shock. it's not that i get all retarded and cease to function. i still do my job at my pace but when the anxiety strikes, i feel like i am slowly falling apart and that the world should just swallow me whole.

it's almost my birthday and i am alone. alone and feeling like shit in my own room. a first with nobody to confide with at a touch of a button because everyone is just so far away. i cannot afford paying for long-distance phone calls now that i am paying my own bills. i miss my friends as desperately i miss doing the things i used to. playing truant, sleeping till the afternoon with no guilt or simply relaxing and being able to go absolutely crazy. i am constantly tensed and i feel like i am withdrawing from myself in every way possible. i now feel like i have to act like i give a shit or that i am super happy when honestly i am either really anxious or just plain numb. i'm crying now and it's making my back hurt. i don't even know why i am crying and feeling so miserable when i have everything going for me. it is not that i am ungrateful it is just that sometimes i feel like i am doing this because i am owing people my dreams. i am so scared of screwing up that it has resorted me to beg god in letting things fall into place.

i think of god more often now. not in a religious way but i think of god as a creator and the one who can determine my fate. i don't do things to get to his good graces or ask for superficial things anymore. i just think of him whenever i can because i know someone out there is putting a good word for me. I don't know why or how i deserve to have what i have right now because looking back, i don't think i have done great things to deserve the opportunity i've been given. which is why i worry all the bleeding time about screwing up and even losing faith in myself.

it's been a crazy year. and i am glad all of that happened. i am someone with very little regrets & tonight i'm just gonna wish myself a happy birthday with a little irony of the word happy. it's just at this moment i am not feeling it yet.

cheers.

shell-shocked

2010-08-27T23:05:00.003+08:00

work today at 11pm (no mistake with the time-stamp)

new hair with Q&A curling serum

Shiny hoodie jacket from Kim

Fictional48 jersey singlet dress

gold matching casio calculator from Nicola

bundle-bought socks

good old chuck taylors.

there's just too many things running through my head that i cannot think of proper things to write anymore. i wish i could be Superman and fly up into space to think empty thoughts while watching the earth revolve beneath me.

chop chop chop chop

2010-08-22T20:40:00.003+08:00

"chop it, shave it... do whatever you want on one side but i want to keep my curls..."

checklist

2010-08-04T21:53:00.002+08:00

Things i want to achieve before i reach 30:

1. i want to be really good at something that will make people go "OMG you are so awesome at *insert talent*!"

2. i want to finish writing a fiction/non-fiction. when i say finish writing, i don't really expect it to be published or anything.

3. i want to earn at least $150,000 annually. at least.

4. working it at my dream job.

5. have travelled to cities written in songs.

6. i want people to remember my name. dude seriously? yes seriously. what is the point of living when people don't even know your name?

7. to have owned something which i've earned through my blood, tears & sweat. it could be a home or my very own business.

8. to have super long, healthy & sexy hair that would make hippies cry with jealousy.

9. gone to a concert so good that it made me cry.

10. have the guts & money to tell people that "Guys, i'm moving to New York City on my own!"

new york city

2010-08-04T21:42:00.002+08:00

i want to live in New York City.

many people do.

especially with Gossip Girl & Jay-Z's Empire State of Mind.

but i want New York because do i feel like it is literally calling me over.

you know how sometimes you get the feeling that something is meant to be?

well i get that.

and no matter what i would want to get my ass over there.

it has been always my goal since i was literally a kid pre-puberty.

i will get there.

i must.

& that is my vow.

I WILL FUCKING LIVE IN NEW YORK!

jesus kristos

2010-07-26T17:08:00.002+08:00

Greg Gex for the photoshoot "Dark Habits" with Ashley Smith

true story

2010-07-26T10:51:00.002+08:00

once upon a time before Facebook, we all connected via MySpace. a cute Italian-American boy from the Orange County added me on MySpace. little did i know that he "found" me via a birthday search because true enough we shared the same birthdate. maybe it is his way of picking girls up or something but the "coincidence" was cool enough to keep me intrigued by this dark character. so we Skyped on a daily basis and even falling asleep with the webcam on.

he was applying to work for the US Army in Texas as a translator not much for actually fighting at war. he owned a glock which he showed me (by glock i meant gun and by gun i meant an actual gun and not his penis). as stupid as this may sound but after 2 weeks i felt like i was in love. now i cannot even remember how i felt like because the humiliation was too great. yes, i was an internet dork who fell in love with a stranger from MySpace.

how it all came to an end?

well we had an argument about how the distance was too great for us. and by then my plans of heading to Oklahoma was put to rest. so there was no way in hell any one of us was going to get laid with each other. he would not have a problem since seriously he was VERY good looking. probably he was a serial killer or a cat killer. who knows. but it was very flattering. at least i knew how he actually looked like with and without a shirt on on LIVE feed. plus i've heard his voice.

seriously this is the most messed up loser story i can think of in case someone were to think i cannot be more of a loser.

true story.

from new york, with LOADS of love

2010-07-25T21:56:00.003+08:00

hee, my postcard from New York from Kim & Keon!!

word

2010-07-25T00:58:00.000+08:00

my Saturday night

2010-07-24T21:48:00.002+08:00

falling like this by kate rockland about falling in love with a rockstar.

how i'm spending my Saturday night.

my peace of mind

2010-07-24T08:45:00.003+08:00

Wes Skiles; RIP 2010.

i am in LOVE with the ocean. watching documentaries about diving in hidden caves, lagoon discoveries excites me despite the irony that i cannot swim. i was probably a failed mermaid in my past life & thus i returned being a human.

annoyance #457

2010-07-23T22:36:00.002+08:00

i live smack in the middle of the city. heck, i work at one of the busiest shopping district in KL. so observing human behavior comes naturally. so one of my biggest pet peeve is when a man carries a lady's handbag because she is too darn lazy to carry her own handbag. now there are instances when girls are allowed to have a guy carry her purse. i shall list them down:

1. They want to scratch they crotch/ass in their tight skinny jeans. This takes a lot of flexibility and a handbag may get in the way of doing such.

2. They want to try on another handbag on display at a store. thus, carrying the existing bag is not viable since they might not get the perfect look with the new handbag.

3. Shoving in a tampon.

4. Breast feeding

5. Have no arms

6. Have no shoulders.

7. Suffering from dementia by imagining their handbags' existence is to kill them.

8. They've forgotten about their handbag and the guy is carrying it to hand it to them and to remind them that they are idiots for forgetting their handbag.

9. They spilled glue all over the handbag, and when the guy got stuck with it. Then again i dunno why the guy would even want to touch a sticky handbag.

10. The bag is SO ugly that girls are too embarrassed to carry them till they make the guy carry them because he is obviously SO IN LOVE with the girl.

so please don't be a retard and let your boyfriend look like a retard carrying your tiny LV knockoff. it's unflattering & so not sexy. if he thinks he's being a gentlemen by carrying your bag, look at him in the eye and say "GET YOUR OWN GODDAMN PURSE!"

you speak of colors nobody has seen yet

2010-07-19T10:03:00.002+08:00

Steven Gomillion & Dennis Leopold

i woke up feeling super uneasy that i was already wide awake, breathing heavily even before my alarm rang. my Sundays are precious to me because that is the one and ONLY day when i don't have to think about work or most importantly check my emails. Sunday mornings make me feel at ease. however once the sun starts setting, the anxiety kicks in & makes my Sunday night almost a complete wreck. sometimes i feel like i jump-started everything to soon. everyone is still leading the carefree life of skipping classes and sleeping till the afternoon. i wish i still had that or at least have the emotions of feeling at ease every single day. unfortunately i guess there comes a balance with everything that has been going on. with everything great something dark has to trail behind making sure that if i eventually mess up, it could catch me and make sure i am reminded of the negativity it brings me down. if i could wish for something i would want my anxiety problems to go away. to at least replace it with probably more confidence and humility in my own self. i think my anxiety has reached the point of being super paranoid about dying in a freak accident one day to waking up finding my entire family dead. that's how weird it has become.

9

2010-07-17T09:47:00.002+08:00

9 ish months ago.

i was still in college; stressing over assignments.

Iris was light enough to be carried with ONE hand.

and Harith, well... i just saw him more often.

it's weird having this different life now. being without the people i used to see so often. talking about failed relationships on my bed after eating, pre-party make up sessions, drunken sleepovers, pillow talks, hours spent at Delicious going on and on about the same things which are surprisingly STILL funny, the weight we've gained together... it was nice and i actually felt content. we grew and it's alright because one day when we were to look back, we'll know that all of these moments made us who we are today. and with that i am blessed to have each and every one of you around :)

city girl part 4

2010-07-13T17:24:00.003+08:00

one of those rare days when i decide to wear color. i haven't worn this overpriced scarf i bought in ages. overpriced because unlike my many other scarves which costs about $10; this one was around $100. sad considering we live in such a hot country and me for vanity's sake would spend on a piece of cloth meant to keep me warm. the air cond in my office is pretty cold if left for very long periods at a time. thus i am normally in layers. sigh how i wish i was at a country where wearing layers is justified.

work has been pretty much what i've signed up for. so no complaints beside the usual work-related stress which keeps my appetite and spending at bay. plus i am getting annoyed at the constant dust i have to inhale every day. GAH!

i want a boyfriend

2010-07-12T10:56:00.002+08:00

if my title meant me looking like a desperate 22 year old, then yes i shall accept that. it is sad really whenever people ask me why i don't have one. as though i can give them an answer to such a stupid question. here's a list of stupid answers i can give to such a stupid question

1. i am so ugly.

2. my flabby tummy overshadows my vagina

thats what i can think of.

my best friends think the reason why is because i am picky. or that i am too smart. omg that means i am a geek?! a nerd?! a dweeb?! figures. if you've been fed with american culture on tv you'll know that smart girls are translated as being geeks. and they are doomed to be picked last or NOT AT ALL. plus they will die a virgin. well that last part i can scratch off from my Am-I-a-Geek checklist. but thats only one. plus i don't think i am super smart. well i can safely say i am smarter than probably your average 5th grader. HAHA. i suck at math. i still use google to check my spelling. plus i did get mixed up between Uruguay & Paraguay.

i think it's my face. people say i look angry all the time. i hope i don't channel that Edward-Cullen look! but even edward-foot-cullen can have a boring girl to fall in love with him. people tell me to stop looking and let the guy come to me instead. i've stopped looking because there's seriously no where to look. i am surrounded by people who either makes my digested food defy gravity or they are already linking arms with girls who are waaaaay prettier than i am. i have crazy curly hair, i wear glasses (GEEEEEEEEK!!!) & sometimes i wear unflattering clothes. tell me, who the fuck wants me?!

i wouldn't want me even if i was a lesbian.

steffi was right, i am such a failed heterosexual & an unqualified lesbian.

Iris' day out

2010-07-04T21:26:00.002+08:00

too cute ♥

frequent answers

2010-07-04T21:02:00.003+08:00

yes i was a part of the shit you idolized now.

and no i don't know where the fuck he is.

yes it is true, i am single & i attract gay men because of my work.

i am not jealous because my boobs are bigger.

staring at you most of the time does not mean i feel threatened by you as it could be because hello, you're hot.

no i would not want to dance with you to electro because that is only reserved for my friends.

having loads of friends who are quite popular does not make me any more popular.

yes i know them & no, i have not hooked up with them whatsoever.

and yes, i do know her but only in first-name basis & "omg, hi! *kiss kiss"-kind of way.

i am not spoilt because i don't ask for unreasonable things i know i myself cannot afford; i get those things anyway because i am lucky enough to have people to give me things.

and i know you bitch about my friends to your friends who are also my friends.

i do not like asking for favors just because i know the right people. so don't ask!

i am currently reading about the severity of my anxiety disorder which thank god is not too severe.

i am suffering from it now & i think will constantly will if i am ever going to succeed in life.

my current biggest fear is screwing up in my career that it will end with me getting fired.

i am happy to say i am slowly finding my way back to God. but don't expect anything creepy or extreme from me.

i am always wondering if i really do deserve everything that has been happening to me lately.

so maybe i am attracted to Chinese or Eurasian boys.

i wish i was attracted to girls but i'm not.

& no, i will keep my hair growing. you'll see.

learn to love

2010-07-03T10:17:00.003+08:00

Thomas Vermeer

saw a cute guy while watching football last night. army green tee & macbeth sneakers. oh and tattoos too :)

please

2010-07-03T09:48:00.002+08:00

wearing a hijab just to give the world a perspective of your holiness despite being a prick yourself does not make you eligible to preach your religious propaganda to the other parts of society who does not coincide with your thinking. your definition of modesty is a cloth which reeks of hypocrisy & bullshit. my definition of modesty reflects my way of living and thinking which is more logical than yours. who are you to question my morals & lifestyle when i am still living abiding to God's ultimate law of doing good to others and myself. did i somehow hurt you with my tattoos & possibly burn your fucking throat when i downed on a shot of vodka? oops, i'm sorry, last i checked my body belongs to me. in school we've learned that it is even a sin to hurt yourself intentionally. so yes, i understand why suicide would be considered a sin but my definition of pain is different than anybody else. so who are you to judge that i am hurting myself when i obviously enjoy it. there's pleasurable pain when you have sex for the first few times for example. so by saying we should not exert pain onto ourself, does that mean sex is out of the question? since we are doing in intentionally? then obviously there's pain when somebody stabs you in the face with a butterfly knife. so fuck you and your condescending facebook groups and your sex orgies under university stairwells. the next time, you want to wear a hijab, consider wearing that sperm infested bed sheet over your head.

this post goes directly to the people who has this mind-set that if they wear a hijab, they should be considered holy or something. yet, they have more sex humanly possible, they talk trash about other people, they walk too slow in malls while linking hands with their rempit-looking boyfriends & they always wonder why they get pregnant all the time.

Outlook good

2010-07-01T07:58:00.003+08:00

I contemplated to write a million different things and various moments in a day. but then as soon as i reach the empty white box where i am meant to fill them up with words, i draw a complete blank. hitting the red x button on the tab was easier than forming actual words. Today i woke up 30 minutes prior to my blaring alarm; thanks to Ironside from the Kill Bill OST. today i woke up with a tad bit of the anxiety i normally get before going to work. had a pretty fucked up dream about my cat getting hit by a blue Satria on the streets of Telawi by a guy named Kal. random enough i had his call card in my hand and called him to harass him. long story short, i was then afraid he was going to kill me instead.

It dawned on me that Nicola is leaving in approximately 9 days to Melbourne together with the boys whom i've gotten used to this couple of years. come to think of it, we went through a lot of shit together. so i guess i am not the only one who's starting a new sequel in their lives.

work has been forgiving. and the opportunity i've gotten cannot be bought. i am thankful & for one of those rare moments, i do think of God and constantly thank him for everything he has given me within this couple of months. i tear up almost everyday on the way to work or from work & feeling completely blessed.

if you were to ask me how i am, i'll say i'm doing pretty damn good. this is the dream. my dream job and life. not too shabby for a 21 year old eh? ;)

mac city

2010-06-24T12:13:00.003+08:00

my current work station.

so my office recently got the new Mac Pro with 12GB of RAM and 1TB of storage plus the latest Adobe Creative Suite 5 Master Collection. awesome? absofuckingly! i was the first to test the machine out with all it's glory and i feel so AWESOME! the machine is brilliant. my MacBook Pro is on the side for iTunes purposes as well as checking my Tweets & Facebook :)

lesson learned

2010-06-17T13:54:00.000+08:00

lady drama

2010-06-17T13:00:00.005+08:00

photographer Renam Christofoletti captured the drama about an uneasy relationship between two women against a bare white wall in this dramatic black&white photo session.

this is for us, Anya Roslan

2010-06-17T12:55:00.002+08:00

werewolves should not wear clothes...

city girl part 3

2010-06-16T09:41:00.003+08:00

maybe i was trying to work my magic by psyching the universe with some sort of my sad sod of an interpretation of reverse psychology. i guess it backfired when i actually started sorta getting what i didn't want to mean in the first place. last night, i watched an episode of SPINdustry on E! & thought "hey, wait a minute... this looks all way too familiar". then that got me thinking that i should complain less about my current living situation because hell, a lot of people would KILL to be in the position i am in. so i've been feeling in the rut these past couple of days, talking to myself in my head and sometimes almost reduces me to tears. i've admitted that i've never worked in a proper job before. especially one that involves high responsibilities & stress. so maybe i am getting used to the idea that i will end up marrying this job; putting everything else on hold for a bit because honestly this is where i want to be in the first place. i should not complain about not being able to meet friends because i am usually SO tired by the time i clock out - which mind you is rarely when the sun is still up; and i should actually still try living a little without compromising who i am. sure it's gonna be tough and tiring but i don't wanna end up hating my job altogether. because when that happens what else can i look forward to? for now i should say i am engaged to my job. wedding plans on the way with Fashion Week inching closer & faster than anyone else would think. honestly i miss the life i had mere months ago. the whole day spent sitting at Delicious hoping they would not kick us out, movie dates with my girl friends - from horror to flicks which involved sweet hot men... oh and the nighst; the nights we spend getting ready and making an entrance where ever we went. this included screams and awkward dance moves suggesting compromising positions & the sleepover/hangover after. i suppose sooner or later all of us will move on to the next chapter in our lives; be it with school, work or marriage, i'll hope for the best for all of us.

lazy

2010-06-15T22:15:00.002+08:00

one night i felt like reading. but i wanted to snuggle under the covers in the dark too. if i were to read, i had to turn on the bright right and would have to expose my hands in the nice cold air-cond making it sore and numb. then i would not want to read anymore because i would need to turn the pages. you know the saying "you cannot have your cake and eat it too?" well i guess that saying was made before the time of audio books or digital books. because i then downloaded the book online, switched off the lights, snuggled under the blanket and listened to my book.

i am actually a mermaid who can't swim

2010-06-15T10:12:00.001+08:00

mundane money making monday

2010-06-14T11:14:00.002+08:00

hello Mr. Monday,

i hope you are kind to me and would make me less nervous and anxious than i already am.

i am in all black today for the second week in the row. but i made the effort to put on a nice scarf and rings i bought yesterday will my mommy. oh and i am not wearing Joe today even though he would have matched my rings perfectly because he actually gives me tiny blisters when her rubs against my ankles.

so please be kind. and tell your other friends; Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday & Saturday to be kind to me as well.

thank you & i love you.

Sincerely,

Nadia A.M.

crayolas

2010-06-13T20:28:00.002+08:00

crayola cutter Dime Cho

i was a crayola kid. i had glitter crayons too.

once you see love, you will forever be blinded

2010-06-13T12:38:00.002+08:00

Signe Vilstrup

smoking is only sexy when you are sexy without it to begin with.

i'm not sorreh

2010-06-13T11:06:00.006+08:00

The Apologist by City of Glass. very Cut Copy-esque. me likey so me sharey.

HAPPY SUNDAY!

"alamak!" in super high octaves

2010-06-12T23:09:00.003+08:00

ALAMAK SO KESIAN!!!

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

i would scoop it up and hug until it probably dies

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

blackish

2010-06-12T11:53:00.001+08:00

my working-on-a-saturday face.

again i am in all black. black converse, back skinnies, black t-shirt and black scarf.

i like girls

2010-06-12T09:06:00.004+08:00

Megan Fox for Interview magazine by Craig McDean

yesterday i read about porn star Sasha Grey who's acting in this indie flick as a call girl (such a cliche role for a pornstar) and then i saw her fully naked with a chick. so i went on IMDB and found out she was my age and that her bra size was a 32B. i then i felt so fat & so unsexually attractive as compared to her. fair enough she's a porn star but hell, if i looked like her i'll be a porn star too!

& i thought i had the cutest puppy

2010-06-11T09:55:00.001+08:00

by Ukranian photographer & digital artist Firs Vizerskoy @ Kassandra

WTF is that?!

2010-06-10T22:21:00.000+08:00

no hair gel / gunk needed. seriously.

boys for me and boys for boys

2010-06-10T13:41:00.004+08:00

Kai Z Feng; Shanghai photographer based in London.

spot my boys from Skins ;)

i just jizzed in my skinnies but because they are so tight/sprayed-on (oh Jaime, you are my favorite Topshop item!), i managed to de-jizz. does that make any sense?

voodoo me pretty

2010-06-10T10:00:00.003+08:00

Andrew Yang's Kouklitas collection. Kouklitas is a term for "dolls" in Greek as these dolls are dressed to resemble some famous fashion designers' Spring collection.

HAPPY THURSDAY!!

city girl part 2

2010-06-10T09:40:00.002+08:00

this is me at work at 9:30 in the morning. nobody but the production boy here so i figured i might update on my daily routine since every "famous" blogger seems to be doing it... no offense. i have been wearing black this week. my color palate has gone monochrome-d for obvious reasons. first because i look slimmer in black, grey, white & second i actually ran out of fun things to wear. so i'm going back to the mundane and minimalistic approach by going plain and simple. i get told off about my hair my various people. yes, my hair's grown to a length i no longer can manage thus why i am giving up hope by just letting it be. slab a bit of curling gunk and a few clips on the fringe and i am good to go. some would call it my own style but i just call it plainly giving up. my nervousness has yet to fully die down but i guess i am doomed to have it forever. which is fine because it keeps my appetite at bay & actually gets me out of bed. i no longer know my roles in this work place since i've been doing pretty much this and that with no complaints. it's great working in the city with the sound of drilling & hammering outside and above my floor plus the amount of dust and cement i am inhaling everyday when walking to and fro. i guess this is my replacement for actual cigarettes since i am on a brink of stopping completely. the craving's gone. however feed me some whiskey or beer and you might have to spare me a cigarette. thus i no longer have an appeal to alcohol. alcohol leads to cigarettes. since this new chapter of my life started i've started leaving phases of my life behind. my partying days are obviously over especially after my hips stopped moving at the beat of music & the excessive yawns in a club. i still tap and shake my legs so thank god i still got a music bone inside of me. slowly i am looking at the brighter side of this life with the intention of being great & even-more awesome some day. everyone wants to be somebody; the ability to make an impact within society. i am super thankful to the people who has helped me to make my way there.

Black Spray on Jaime Jeans

2010-06-09T12:28:00.002+08:00

i finally bought the pair of Jaime skinnies which i've wanted so badly since i first tried in on back when Chibs was still in town. if you recall, i had an episode when i accidentally tried on the pair which was 2 sizes too small and panicked in the fitting room thinking i have grown fat in just a couple of months. well i've finally found a pair which fit me almost perfectly (there's no such thing as a perfect pair of jeans. THEY DO NOT EXIST!!!). 29 inch in length from the petite section which grazes my ankles almost perfectly. seriously this pair of jeans gives the illusion that i have skinny and long legs (to me at least. don't laugh if you found out i was wrong). putting them on is quite a feat. not because they don't fit me but because they are so "sprayed on" that i have trouble pulling them up. sticking true to it's name it fits so closely to my skin that it is safe to say i can substitute the conventional pair of leggings with Jaime. tucking them in my 8-hole Doc Martens is as easy as tucking them in the 14-hole one. like i said - LEGGINGS. not to be confused with "Jeggings" seriously the name itself sounds obscene.

feeling happy that i've finally gotten the pair of jeans i've always wanted, i was actually under the impression that i lost weight. so last night i happily stepped onto the weighing scale to see if i can be proven right. unfortunately stuff like that only happens in the fake world of beach diets & chiseled oiled up men fanning you by the pool. i on the other hand do not get to indulge in such luxuries.

GAH

2010-06-08T07:58:00.002+08:00

my third week starts today & i'm already a nervous wreck. i know they said things will get easier through time, they are partially right & even though things were not as hectic as my first i could start feeling the weight of the responsibilities i have to carry. it's cool though despite having the feeling that everything is starting way too quickly. i have yet fully allowed the fact that i've graduated sink in. i've been jumping on huge ships since convocation. from the surprise trip to Sydney and starting my internship straight away after barely being back for 12 hours. and then mid way of adjusting in a publication/events company, i left to take lead in a full time job i've only dreamt of having. maybe this anxiety attack happens because i am still not used to this. heck, i had never taken on a proper job. EVER. working as a shop assistant at 16 does not count because it was my uncle's shop anyway. now i am somebody who works from 9 till when the sun sets because 9-5 only applies to the stock market. and i don't think my company is even listed.

so what i am trying to say is, i am having this puking feeling of discomfort & i hate it. i hate breathing heavily unless it comes with a night of smoking or sex. otherwise this brings me closer to the brink of a nervous breakdown. i'm constantly paranoid that every wrong move i make will end me up getting fired. i fell sick because of this. from a throbbing headache, flu and even a fever. this anxiety is taking me down and i need to find a way to deal.

oh help me.

our nunga-nungas are the same size

2010-06-03T20:49:00.002+08:00

because we can go on and on forever.

angus, thongs & aaron johnson

2010-05-27T00:50:00.006+08:00

i finally finished watching Angus, Thongs & Full-Frontal Snogging. i downloaded the movie when it first came out and cringed like a rat eating skittles. i felt pain & humiliation. i was a bit disappointed with the cast and acting because it was no where as funny as the book; which i collected in HARD COVER by the way years ago. i remembered going to Kinokuniya and ordering the book before it came out. yes, AGES ago. i laughed like a mad hyena reading the book. a rarity really because i think i did have tears of laughter. then i guess i realized that so far there's barely a handful of book-to-movie adaptations which turned out equally better than the book. So i guess what i am trying to say is, i finally watched the movie because Aaron Johnson is in it. i fell in love with Kick-Ass so much that i caved in. despite Aaron having a squeaky voice in ATFFS; which made him sound like a tranny, he looks so delish that it is such a shame that he'd gotten involve with a 40-something director and impregnated her in the process. i guess shit happens.

well that's my current trend in movie-watching. i download movies (Crap or Brilliant) depending on who's in it. this has resulted in me watching movies like Wimbledon, Legion & Da Vinci Code over and over again because i am currently also infatuated with Paul Bettany.

city girl part 1

2010-05-27T00:26:00.003+08:00

i take the train to my new workplace now. i take the train in pretty clothes & lugging around my Alexander Wang-inspired bag filled with magazine clippings, Dazed & Confused + i.D magazines, laptop, headphones, Moleskin & a ton of other work related matter. i walk and i drop by to buy coffee at 9AM. a supersized cup of Cafe Latte with a double shot of expresso and no sugar. and then i walk some more among uniformed ladies rushing to departmental stores & restaurant to start work. ladies in hair-buns, opaque stockings, one-and-a-half inch heels and 2 shades lighter foundation. i walk silently, keeping my iPod safe at home amongst my make-up & old hair products. i walk and pant all the way up to my office on the 13th floor. so i set my MacBook Pro on the table and begin planning out my day. i shudder at the thought of the over-piling events & projects i am heading. i start to pale at the thought of time-constrains. i breathe heavily but no longer craving for a cigarette. something i have slowly learnt to avoid since i started working here. i realized that this will now be my life; the late night in the office, the lack of deep sleep, the depleted craving for food & day-dreaming of what-ifs. i am here now. a place some people can only dream of being. despite the less glamourous location i am the reality of Running In Heels. except i don't wear heels. something i should start practicing from now on in case i happen to have to wear one and start walking like a duck. they made me Feature Editor. now what?

given

2010-05-19T01:51:00.002+08:00

there's no particular theme to this posting's images of choice; in case you were wondering.

i feel so blessed and i am happy.

god helps those who help themselves. amen.

sunday best

2010-05-16T21:31:00.003+08:00

that is not my MacBook Pro screen which i broke to make it look like an iPad.

so my cousin is one of those techie people who would buy anything new that is out in the market. if he were living in the US, he'll be the first few queueing up at the Mac center. he was one of the few who managed to snag the iPad when it was first introduced.

that's him in the background by the way. sneakily making sure i do not accidentally drop his new baby. so now i can finally say that i have touched and played with the iPad. HAH!

and then later on in the day Uncle Joe came to me and was like "i got something for you, girl...". excited, i followed him to this huge bag filled with things and he pulled out this navy blue case. i unzipped the bag to find something SO unexpected that i laughed. Abang Faris was there and he then pulled this out:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Uncle Joe bought me a pair of KILLER SWORDS!! he said "oh that day you were talking about it so i got you one to kill (insert Uncle Joe's favorite citizens)" i told him he's been watching too much Kick-Ass. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! and then Karl saw it and was like "Nadia, are you going to practice how to use it?" yeah sure & i must remember to make a leather outfit to match it with.

taste in men

2010-05-16T11:08:00.003+08:00

i am in love with Mark Strong. boy, my taste in men has shifted from the likes of Devon Sawa/Nick Carter in the 90s' to this villain.

at work

2010-05-14T10:40:00.004+08:00

work. 4 more weeks.

nothing deep of witty to be filled here for now. the pictures are self-explanatory. i was waiting for my videos to be converted.

t-shirt - We Are Mutants circa 2009's infamous Halloween Party

boots - Dr Martens Johari Spring 2010 collection

alarms

2010-05-09T00:51:00.003+08:00

nadia moro

how come in movies when the alarm suddenly rings, you'll see the character jumping out of bed yelling profanities claiming they are late when it was them who sets the alarm to wake them up in time to get ready? i see it as a universal blooper in movie-making.

my moon my man

2010-05-08T18:48:00.003+08:00

my boyfriend wears this pair of Vane x Sebago with his dark denim Tsubi's with an OriginalFake t-shirt which i picked out. that is why he is my man. dot.

decipher these dreams

2010-05-07T23:30:00.002+08:00

varvara frol

a few nights ago i had one of the most disturbing dream yet. i'd say most disturbing that i could remember because it is only recently i've started remembering my dreams in detail. something that takes lots of practice doing. this involves lots of patience and actually writing down what i remember. thus why sometimes i can be found blogging at 8AM regarding random thoughts and sudden inspirations.

this dream was a mix between the present time & the past. the past more on architecture of the location. i remembered the place was built with brown bricks. kinda like an old convent; Notre Dame-esque. feels like England but the people in my dream were typical Malaysian "lepaking" around the courtyard. then suddenly this plump lady carrying a baby stood on the balcony & jumped. i saw how she let go of her baby who was leaning on her broad shoulders. and i saw the baby fall first. i didn't see the gory mess but i saw A LOT of blood splattered on this couple near where the lady and baby fell. and then i heard the piercing screams of everyone in that area. and then i woke up to the sound of my dog howling.

despite having the guts to watch grotesque movies involving severed limbs and gallons of corn syrup and red dye, i could never bring myself actually witnessing something so tragic and gory. i quiver whenever i pass by random items on the road in fear they might be road kill. or sometimes first hand encounters of freak accidents along the road just moments after they happen. the blood, twisted metal, broken glass & plastic. what's worst seeing a black bag over an unrecognizable lump on the road, pooling with blood.

what scary is that i tend to get a lot of recurring dreams. always the same place, always the same situation. brrrrr, i'm actually freaking out.

okay time for Supernatural (yeah, i'm asking for it but i ended season 3 of Gilmore Girls & i'm giving it a few hours to let it all sink in).

jacob dahlgren

2010-05-07T18:16:00.002+08:00

something to look at on a Friday.

HAPPY WEEKEND PEOPLE!

it's been awhile

2010-05-07T00:02:00.002+08:00

yulia gorodinski

finally after 3 months. isn't it weird, the moment you know only then you'll feel the pain & all of a sudden your craving for vanilla ice cream and peach with a topping of Nestum disappears? and then that silver lining that you can indeed lose all that weight you've gained at Sydney starts to show & the bloating can finally go away...

Ob, looks like you are my best friend again!

hold the pen & draw it pretty

2010-05-06T17:50:00.002+08:00

nicole guise

and i went "mmmm, so pretty" with envy.

old & still wanking

2010-05-06T17:26:00.003+08:00

artwork by justin gradin who does not own a phone & is in a band called Random Cuts.

conversations with my Magic 8 ball

2010-05-06T01:16:00.002+08:00

should i sleep now?
no

should i watch another episode?
most likely

should i watch Supernatural?
outlook not so good

should i watch Gilmore Girls?
most definitely

who knew a plastic ball filled with blue liquid could be so smart at making decisions. if i watched Supernatural now, in the middle of the night alone in a dark room, i might get nightmares. so it is agreed that Gilmore Girls at night & Supernatural at day.

do it like a virgin

2010-05-05T17:05:00.002+08:00

Madonna for Interview Magazine

she's my mom's age, FYI.

the avengers please

2010-05-04T16:59:00.004+08:00

having one of those rare days when i get a few hours to myself is a rare occasion as of recent times. with work & personal projects on the way, it's almost impossible being away from people. i avoided the weekend crowd queue for tickets. sorry but staying in line among the many rempit-looking people and obnoxious PDA couples grosses me out. especially in Mid Valley. of course i could splurge on a ticket from Signature GSC but even i can be a cheapskate from time to time. snuck in a brown bag of large fries from Mackers. suffocating neighboring patrons with jealousy. movies like Iron Man is something that cannot possibly suck really bad. so they are either entertaining or OMG-IT'S-THE-BEST-MOVIE-OF-THE-YEAR! i found it entertaining & almost awesome. a bit exaggerated but then again with the competitive nature of comic-turned-Hollywood blockbuster movies nowadays, why sound so surprised?

i laughed appropriately & maybe at smarter jokes i find nobody with the typical-Malay/typical Chinese background would find funny (those were typically in the same cinema hall with me). inside jokes are waiting to happen. i'm not going to summarize what happened and elaborate into what i loved/hated in the movie because you have IMDB comments for that.

okay, if you have not seen the movie or planning to see it again, i suggest you stay till the very end until the credits start rolling. If nobody taught you any better, surprise clips at the very end is a big thing in Hollywood now. this included in X3: The Last Stand with the scene when Professor Xavier transfered his consciousness into another person; or in The Incredible Hulk (Edward Norton) with Tony Stark (Iron Man) visited Bruce Banner at a bar to ask him to work for Stark Industries... important details for future movies which will be awesome. so i suggest you be very patient and tell your friends to fuck off if they try dragging you out of the cinema hastily. because if you are a fan, i'll say the Avengers team is looking pretty sweet & expect a movie anytime soon ;)

scientific killer

2010-05-03T20:55:00.001+08:00

i thought this was clever. about time somebody pieced the 2 together.

i will die alone with Chibs

2010-05-03T00:46:00.002+08:00

during the weekend i decided to follow the herd of self-proclaimed fashionistas & spoiled tweens by combating feisty shoppers at the Topshop mid-season sale. i had the purchasing power since the parents were in such giving mood so why not. i browsed & actually used up the maximum number of clothing allowed to be tried inside the changing room. i figured i will not find anything amusing on their discount rack & droned straight to the new arrivals to pick out clothes which a) i will wear over and over again, b) clothes i will only wear a few times, c) clothes which i know will look horrendous on me but being in denial regarding my body shape due to my current eating situation made me a tad bit happy & d) clothes which i have tried more than 1 occasion before.

waiting in line for the changing room took forever; allowing me to make a mental note to actually like & can possibly fit into most of the clothes which should make me look good in order to make my long wait worthwhile.

there i was in the last room which was the smallest changing room by the way & hastily gotten undressed. now here's the worst scare ever so pay attention: i picked up the Jaime pair of super skinnies from the petite section because i'm accepting the fact that i am not the tallest tree of the bunch & skinnies at 29 inches long grazes my ankles hot-ly. so i tugged the jeans to fit my right leg and realizing that it's a bit too tight. mind you, i have tried this pair of jeans 4 times not counting this one so yes, i'm pro with the fitting and what not. and then after managing to put my two legs into them, i tugged them to reach up my thighs with no avail. NO AVAIL! i tried until i was perspiring because my forehead felt eerily cold with the combination of air condition and sweat. and i stared at myself in the mirror with my ass sticking out almost touching the curtains i panicked. i swear i went pale & muttered profanities under my breath. thats when i had a reflective moment & realized my weight gain was a serious matter. i was going to die alone and possibly at a young age. now all the other 5 clothes i picked out didn't seem appealing to me anymore. i shuddered at the thought going out the dressing room with untouched clothes; leaving them with the sale assistants waiting outside.

why breathing heavily, i gave up and removed the skinnies & was about to dial someone's number to bitch and moan when i saw....

the Jaime i picked out was 2 sizes too small for me! i picked the wrong size!! i literally went "thank god!" loud enough for the next cubicle to hear & chuckled.

the morale of the story is, i should properly check the labels of the clothes i pick out & the fact that straight away believing that i could not fit into said jeans means i do consider myself a tad bit on the chubby side which means i should do something about it. which is why i will torture myself with another detox program to restart my eating habits. my stomach is protruding further than my boobs is a sure sign that i could possibly die alone or be mistaken as a super hip young single mom. but still i could possibly die alone with a room full of cats & dogs.

but Chibs said she'll die alone with me. so i guess it won't be THAT lonely afterall.

stomper

2010-05-02T10:19:00.003+08:00

dree hemingway by solvo sundsbo for Numero

i felt really annoyed at many things yesterday. mostly at humanoids. up to the point my red boots & their faces were stringed together in a sentence. seriously, if you want to piss someone off, make sure it's not someone who's been dying to tell people off in public.

this week in chaos

2010-05-01T14:46:00.004+08:00

the day i decided to get dressed up to go to Barsonic after almost 2 months being on hiatus with graduation, Sydney & work, Zouk got raided at almost 2am, merely an hour and a half since i arrived. urine sample & ID check... the whole shebang. i was not worried, more like tired & lazy; what the fuck man!

oh the heart-shaped mesh+spandex dress with yellow stripes is from American Apparel. one of my splurges from Oxford Street.

something i could look forward to soon. i bought another pair of Doc Martens. i'm sorry but i really cannot help it man! it's so pretty!!!!!!! thats almost rm700 contributed to the American economy. vote for Obama!

work has been alright. we had a photo shoot for our latest editorial in the office yesterday. plus i finished up my videos needed for the upcoming club nights! it's gonna be an interesting 3rd week of work next week. fo' sho!

after a few flutes

2010-04-24T03:01:00.004+08:00

my urge to drunk-blog is a serious addiction. i always have this sudden urge to blog whenever i am out of my mind, drugged up or super gone from bubbly. this habit needs to be hindered. seriously. especially before i start babbling like an imbecile about inadequate make-out buddies, nasty sexcapades or other raunchy details meant to be kept behind closed doors. unfortunately i have none i feel like sharing right now.

today was Day 5 at work thus ending my first week working at Aesthetics Creative (aha! i've finally revealed my work place!). so far i have contributed in club visuals in pictures and videos. you know how sometimes you go clubbing and they have these flat screen tvs which you thought was a waste of money and space because you think you deserve to have them nicely placed in your bedroom? well, i am the one who picks and materials you see. so there, i have contributed to a lifestyle i once had. it's really ironic really, me working for club events when i now barely allow myself to step outside the comfort of printed cotton shorts, the one with drawstrings on them & a big ol' t-shirt which smells distinctively of lunch, dinner and possibly dog sweat.

i bumped into a few people at Converse + Jam Division presents David Corio at ZINC Art Space. it was a media opening and surprisingly it was more fun than i expected. i went to work today with no obligation to do anything until the fashion editor asked me to help him out with a future event. more than obliged to take up the offer, i did. headed to the venue to check out the place & to plan out the flow of the event. then i rushed back home to change and then power walked to BV for dinner with the americans. then rushed to Zinc to smile and say hello to people.

my boss' birthday celebration was at Rootz. never been there before, i got dressed despite today's festivities and went. had more fun than expected. more like more tipsy than expected. 5 flutes of Samosas and champagne was enough to keep a tired girl happy and actually dancing to progressive house. it's been awhile so don't stake me with that rusty rod. i'll still stick true to my music taste but once in awhile, it's nice to be deaf with something new.

the best thing that happened today was; my boss has decided to keep me permanently with the team! :D so i guess after the internship, i will still have a job to look forward to...

okay, i'm too tipsy to continue now...

when i close my eyes, i see light spots

2010-04-21T00:34:00.002+08:00

look at my purdy screen shots of Google Chrome. i used to be in love with Chrome when i was still using my Fujitsu, and then when i finally switched to a MacBook Pro, there were no Google Chrome for me to use. but now, they've released a beta version for Mac users so YAY me! (seriously, i know this was old news but whatever i just got it installed so deal with it!)

i downloaded the Agatha Ruiz de la Prada theme for my Chrome because it is so colorful! it even matches with my Twitter page. i know some of you might be wondering how the fuck did i not go blind just looking at the screen. well frankly they do hurt my eyes a little. but at least my eyes will hurt with a worthy cause because they are hurting due to something pretty. well like they say, love hurts.

shush the non-believer

2010-04-20T22:28:00.005+08:00

today was my second day at work. and as tired as i was, i am excited being where i am. i arrived home on Sunday night & started my first day of work on Monday itself. so far it has been awesome. today was the first time i used iMovie on my Mac to edit videos for an event tomorrow. i'm happy because my boss was impressed. he said i was a fast learner. plus he said i am good at finding creative materials. never had a compliment like that made me happier especially coming from someone in the industry. to those who doubted my capabilities, TAKE THAT!

like candy on my wrist

2010-04-16T23:58:00.003+08:00

it came in a not-so-little lime box which resembled a kryptonite. thank god i am not Superman & more like Lex Luther.

the box slides open like an expensive coffin of beauty of some-sort.

ta-da! coincidentally the time reads 9:11. any smart wanker knows the significance of that number. but doesn't it look super awesome??

i thought of splurging on something since a) i've graduated & b) i'm starting work come Monday. all my Swatch watch (all 7 of them) have died & i could not be bothered getting new batteries, i decided to buy myself the Timex 80. caught my eye almost instantly. i would say love at first sight but i actually saw a nice yellow G-shock first but it was waaaaaaay out of my budget.

flirted with the guy who was some-what teaching me how the watch functioned even though he himself was fumbling with it. mr-big-hands had big fingers... (HAHA! i just made a dirty joke!) so he had trouble with the tiny buttons.

i am a happy girl!!!! with a new watch!!!!

well that's one of my awesome purchase in the past 2 weeks. that and my super awesome pair of shoes, my skulls & chains bag & my yellow & black heart shaped dress from American Apparel. looking at the receipts is gonna cause me a headache but i guess i'll only look at them when i finally decide to clean out my wallet which would take approximately a month or so.

printed moments

2010-04-15T09:56:00.002+08:00

Alexander McQueen by Derrick Santini.

a few days ago, while walking in the city at night we were talking about how people around us are dying. people with direct lines to us. close friends of friends; stuff like that. it's chilling at the thought of someone like us dying unexpectedly from some kind of a freak accident, suicide or illness. how everything we are doing right now is contributing to how we might and could die. the thought is then even scarier when you know you've got so much to do still and that you are not satisfied with your life.

have you lived your life to the fullest?
done everything you've wanted to do with no social constraints?
closed your eyes and told yourself that you are finally content?
are you happy?

the greeks are freaks

2010-04-14T10:36:00.003+08:00

clash of the titans 1981

a bunch of us watched the movie at Event on Monday because it was Student Movie Monday & we only paid almost half the price for the 3D movie. i expected the movie to be 300-esque just not as good because i don't think there would be any movie in the coming decade to look as good as 300.
the characters who were supposed to look hot were actually hot so YAY. and Tony & Effy who were siblings in Skins were cast in the movie with sideline roles. enough to be noticed; which excited me more.
the fight scenes were okay. nothing to go "OMG DID YOU SEE THAT MOVE?! FUCKING AWESOME RIGHT?!"

now the stuff that pissed me off were:
1. Zeus' armor. like what the fuck? it's unnecessarily too shiny & makes Liam look fat and stubby.
2. THERE WERE NO SEX SCENES OR ANYTHING SEXUAL (ie. kissing, face touching...). okay not that i am a perv because i like people getting it on but because dammit it's a GREEK movie & we all know the greeks always get turned on for no apparent reason. watch every greek mythology themed movie you know & you'll get my frustration. dammit even Hercules from Disney had sexual tension. @%&*#! Chibs and i kept going "JUST HAVE SEX WITH HER ALREADY LAH!" & realizing that the direction of the movie was not heading to where we wanted, we simply tutted like chickens in disappointment.
3. the storyline moved in such a pace that you've accepted what was going to happen & everything seemed like a life-line of someone in an already coma state.
4. the kraken did not have it's prime moment. we saw his magnificent state for 3 seconds before he got turned to stone upon gazing at Medusa's eyes on her already severed head held by That Hot Guy From Avatar. i expected the kraken to actually do some major damage at least & maybe battling it out in the wide open seas by dragging Avatar Guy by his ankles. we didn't even get a glimpse of how the kraken looks like as a whole; only bits and pieces especially as it sank into the ocean as stone.
5. NOBODY WAS TOPLESS. at least show shirtless men all dirty and greased up flexing their pecs and glorious arms swinging a sword. we however witnessed how unsexy That Hot Guy from Avatar wore a skirt too short for his strong legs. no thanks.

thats $13 & 2 hours of my life i am never getting back.

wearing fleece is justified

2010-04-14T10:03:00.002+08:00

we live for times like these no matter what the consequences are

the stagnant previous entry was haunting me; thus remembering my mental reminder of at least trying to write-in every couple of days. so maybe 5 days is a bit draggy and a couple of days ago made me realize that there are actually people who gave a crap about my musings. thank you for caring & sending me private messages on Facebook & leaving sneaky comments here and there. seriously THANK YOU.

i am still in Sydney despite a few confused with my state of being. i'll be heading back soon to start the reality of my life. me being the only graduate in the house is depressing with the bunch heading to the uni to do some actual studying almost everyday seem daunting to my kind. so i nap whenever i can and after a very long time, i could finally sleep without the anxiety.

my days are spent filled to the rim; taking turns with company. new friendships are formed due to the close-proximity we've shared in a week or so. the city no longer feels scary to be explored alone. i rely heavily on gut-feeling & cannot be happier since. i love the place & it just confirmed how i feel that i am destined living in a fast-paced city. probably not Sydney but somewhere else. despite the corny want of everybody of wanting to live in New York; i am one of those individuals. fingers crossed and i might spend an entire summer over there next year.

most days when i am out in the city, i feel a sudden shiver running through me and trust me it is not the cold weather. i am at awe and cannot believe i am actually here. Chibs & i had talks of dragging me here some day. we even talked about finding jobs and sharing the expenses 50/50. how sweet and how i know Chibs will be there when everyone is gone.

i cannot wait to start my internship but i feel like i don't wanna go home yet.

lesbian girls hate boys who loves lesbian girls

2010-04-09T19:50:00.002+08:00

a few days after a got to Sydney i started googling intersting places for things to do. so i considered checking out the indie scene here because i have no intention whatsoever to do tourist-y things like dropping by places to buy UGG-ly shoes or koalas. so i actually found a lesbian indie night which takes place every thursday. the place was at one of the dingiest part of town because on the same row as the club were bondage stores, gay guys apparel & punk shops. i fell in love!
not that i was still into the whole crazy clubbing scene but once in awhile i do miss my electro music nights since they come rarely these days.
i imgained hot Shane-like girls, hot butch girls, sexy pixie blonds but unfortunately with the tag of "lesbian indie scene", you'll have a long trail of penises straddling along. the place had probably the same ratio as women & i am not complaining because unlike getting muka pecah ones in KL, the people here have character. pierced, tattood & fucking awesome sense of fashion *swoooon*
the place felt like a house party with the dingy decorations & peeling carpets. the building itself was one of those old buildings with a peeling paint-job, creaking stairwells, and termites-eaten wood. just like how an underground party should.

plus in true lesbian fashion they played Teaches of Peaches! :)

& YAY this Saturday there would be an Easter Special! so apa lagi?!

i peed in the ocean & it felt warm

2010-04-06T16:30:00.002+08:00

in the city after shopping at Paddington & Chibs insisting on putting the camera on timer & me going "omg hurry before someone passes by and steals it!"

you see the pink bag i am carrying? well i have a pair of awesome shoes in it! which i will take a shot of when i've figured out a perfect outfit to go with it.

been doing a whole lot of going out since the whole gang was here. i didn't have time nor the effort to take beautiful pictures while i was doing whatever i was doing because i was fairly occupied. so far we've been to the city almost everyday except today because we went to Coogee for a dip in the ocean. well actually we might go to the city later for some Max Brenner. mmmm.

i'm sorta feeling sick cause i have clear mucus lodged in my nose and slimy tadpoles on sandpaper in my throat.

miss furry

2010-04-02T23:21:00.004+08:00

steve hoskins

i miss my pets. in Sydney you don't see stray cats. there's more birds loitering around than cats. & i don't give a shit about birds because the way i see it, they are only made to be feasted upon; grilled, fried, steamed, curried, souped... etc.

the only feline i saw was this flat-faced persian by the window. muka the cat tak leh bla at all. idiot-face all the time.

today i saw a few people walking their dogs and i thought of Iris & how she would enjoy herself in the cool weather. she would smell so good since she won't sweat so much & her fur will be so lawa when the wind blows. sigh. i miss la my smelly Ploopy girl :(

the talent has yet to come

2010-04-02T23:15:00.003+08:00

spiros halaris

with a side project coming soon, drawing like this would come in handy. oh talent & inspirations, please come to me soon :)

chgaaa yeeeeeah

2010-04-02T19:12:00.002+08:00

what i wore for the city

since the Opera House was at the background, we were like "why not lah!" & took a picture to make my trip to Sydney more legit. so yes, been there, done that!

& the harbor too to make it even more legit.

"eh lets lay on the lawn. i feel like napping lah" - Chibs post-lunch.

jolly gay time.

QVB. area looks so old & vintagey that we believe it is haunted. the kind where you'll see an English woman in a long Victorian gown roaming around the building looking for her pet dog.

toilet shot because the tiles were pretty & my boots prettier.

smoking cigars while observing people walking by. some are damn stylish which is why tomorrow i will be dedicating my day taking street shots of good-looking people.

so we basically did a whole lot of city walking for more than 6 hours. stopping by for burgers, MAX BRENNER & ultimately dinner. i had roasted **** belly & drank pretty-okay mango beer. stuffed & accepted my fate of coming home a fatty.

caesar is not dead

2010-04-01T22:09:00.003+08:00

van she tech anyone?

decided to go for this Toga party at UNSW. lots of half naked blokes in bedsheets & body paint/glitter. channeling Avatar & maybe Edward (foot) Cullen. Saw a poster upon entering & Van She Tech was gonna perform. so apa lagi? excited a bit la. not bad for a selamba night out because music was awesome & the ratio of good-looking people. half naked pulak tu!

smokes & chardonnay

i would take a shot of Stefan's liquor collection but it might cause imaginary liver failure for many. opted for wine because we had beer after dinner which i ended up wasting because i was so fucking bloated!

first walk out for indonesian food after a 4-hour nap.

awesome weather. me wearing a faux leather jacket was justified because it was chilly.

DM lace-ups. don't mess.

Chibs' DM arrived so we picked them up before heading home from the airport. excited little girl. damn awesome too.

pre-nap

the pictures are in a weird sequence. i feel too malas to edit them because honestly i feel tired. the other roomies are playing Tai Ti with Third Eye Blind playing in the background. smokes everywhere till the point i actually don't feel like smoking. so thats it for a first night here in Sydney. tomorrow; THE CITY!

going going gone

2010-04-01T08:16:00.002+08:00

mmm morning sunlight in Sydney

Angus, Thongs & Full-Frontal Snogging which made me insane on the 8-hour flight & the reunion with DJ Lovechild.

Pooks & Chibs united!

The Zayns

thats all that i can blog about because i am sleepy. plus i am feeling really hungry. i wanna go eat but i think i might sleep first.

ishbu

2010-03-30T21:53:00.004+08:00

today is my dad's 55th birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!

so as a gift, i decided to cook him dinner & bake him a cake; which i did. i made green velvet cake (yes, it's supposed to be RED velvet but Village Grocer ran out of red food coloring so i bought blue instead. the mix of cocoa & blue made it green) & cheese bolognese chicken. then he was suddenly like "what time will dinner be ready? because i want to go to Mid Valley to buy your camera." so i looked at my brother cause he yang beria-ria nak camera & innocently asked "oh so you're buying Farid his camera?" my dad then replied "no lah, i'm buying yours also"

SO YES!

i finally have a camera. Olympus Pen pulak tu. & i didn't even have to beg for it. tee hee!! my dad said it'll be useful for work since i'll be doing editorial and events and such. plus i will be covering a few things since my super cool colleague said it will be a 360 experience.

well mainly i am excited to use it for Sydney since i WILL be leaving TOMORROW! 18 days in Sydney with Chibs! uninterrupted fun & mischief!

*
*
*

so yeah this is Iris whom i actually caught by surprise since she's always hyper & i could never take a proper shot of her. (i used the pin hole art effect on the Pen. heeeee!!!!)

halfway packing outside my room. notable items are my infamous Kate Moss for Topshop dress which i actually bought for rm70, my rm10 Mets stadium jacket which i got from a bundle in PD & my Lion king sweater which i had since i was 7 all the way from LA!

random decisions

2010-03-27T19:02:00.002+08:00

next week!!!!!
Chibs is back for a few days & i will be flying back with her on Wednesday!

and...

i've secured my internship! just gotta run to the office come Monday to discuss the plan & roles for me within the company. YAY!

done

2010-03-25T22:31:00.003+08:00

i've graduated.
now what?

i got a few projects + plans up my sleeve which i will fill in soon enough once everything is settled. i am terribly excited.

i'd rather you not promise the world. i'll conquer it myself thanks.

2010-03-23T08:07:00.003+08:00

ricardo cavolo

early morning wake up after snoozing 5 times in the row until i cannot snooze anymore. Hooverphonic playing at my feet. i can feel my heart lodged somewhere between my trachea & my tongue. breathe easy.

my bags are packed. this is what it's all about. my years of rambling of making it comes down to this. and you know despite the outcome later, i know i've had an awesome, spectacular, supercalifragilisticespialidocious experience. amen.

here's to another awesome chapter awaiting me after this. seriously, i cannot wait!

i like dags

2010-03-22T11:16:00.003+08:00

olaf hajek

"when did the future switch from being a promise to being a threat?" - Chuck Palahniuk; Invisible Monsters.

i wake up with piles of clothes, paper and misc. items around me every morning. my anxiety levels is at it's peak. i shiver at the thought of leaving my comfort zone. despite all that, i am really excited.

50 hours & counting.

zombie kitties!!

2010-03-18T22:22:00.001+08:00

so violent yet so cute!!

the point of facebook

2010-03-18T01:15:00.004+08:00

it's late & i don't wanna think about work right now so i figured i'll do this instead.
here's a list of reasons/excuses/use or what ever you may call it; of Facebook.

1. to stalk exes.
2. to stalk your significant other's exes.
3. to stalk people who stalk you.
4. to check out profile pictures of potentially good looking people to "add as friend"
5. to "add as friend" old classmates you didn't give a damn about it high school but they seem too cool to not give a damn about now.
6. to basically look at ex classmates photos & later on bitch about it to other ex classmates.
7. to add "cool" people as their friends to look cool in front of other cool people.
8. to collect as many people as friends as possible by approving EVERYONE who adds you & adding good looking friends of friends.
9. to post semi naked pictures of one self & then whine about disgusting perverts in the internet world.
10. to portray intellect by posting witty jokes, deep quotes, smart philosophies etc as their status in effort for people to comment or "like" them.
11. to show off to your "friends" that you are SO in love & happy in your current relationship that you chose to put "married to" instead of the basic "in a relationship" even though you've only been together for a week.
12. to put up a snide remark as a portrayal of anger as your status. sadly your anger must have played a sick game with your grammar and spelling because despite people replying with sympathy comments, there's always someone out there laughing at your mistake.
13. to put up a super cool picture you found on 4chan & spam-tagging half of your "friends list" in it just so everyone will interact to your picture.
14. to put up flattering images of yourself & pimping your info section with words which does not add up to your personality.
15. to put up a picture of inanimate objects (cars, football flags, etc) to portray that "yes, i love cars" and "my favorite team is manchester united!". you do this in hopes to attract people with similar interest.
16. to strike up a conversation with some one who has yet to "approve" your friend request with "hi. leh berkenalan?" or "badan awk hot. blh tanggal baju?" and having a sick illusion that they will reply you with "ye boleh. nak berwebcam?"
17. to write notes by asking your own question which you pretend to be asked by someone else and answering them just so you can be just semi-narcissistic and not FULLY narcissistic.
18. to play games which sets a downward spiral in the global economic productivity level with other people who does not give a crap about the global economy & how it effects their retirement fund.
19. to get invited to hip events that you think nobody else knows about so that you can start sending out invites just to look cool among your friends in your list about how you know about the party and they didn't.
20. to look hip among society in the 21st century. because be honest, if you knew someone without Facebook, you'll think they are complete losers.

oh how i made momma proud

2010-03-17T20:30:00.005+08:00

my tresses from 2008-09 in no particular order. oh how i miss those times. the stuff we all got into, the mistakes, the right decision, hits & misses. it's time to finally let go & start something new. letting go was easy when know you got nothing else to live for on the other side.

faulty perspective

2010-03-17T13:16:00.003+08:00

super awesome Simpson artwork done by fans. love the Clockwork Orange themed one!

things has been hectic around here with so many things happening at once. at least they are things i am so happy about. so i am listing down things i am thankful & very happy about since the rarity in today's society in being thankful for what they already have.

1. i watched Placebo LIVE! okay, so did thousands of other individuals who went but you see I was in LOVE with the band when humanity in Malaysia doubted of their existence in coming over to visit let along include in their tour. they were the band i've dreamed so often of wanting to see live before i die. especially after spine-tingling videos of them playing live emerged on youtube. so damn right was i fucking excited! i was fucking in love with Molko when i first saw Taste In Men; thus jump-starting my obsession with androgynous men.

2. i am talking to my best man friend again. well not as often as we used to but i guess that is fine because we can now laugh and talk silly again.

3. i am graduating in less than 7 days. as the day is approaching, i am getting more anxious when i wake up. filled with worry & excitement at the same time. reading back past entries about me starting and wanting to make this right, and oh my god it all comes down to next week. how fast has it been? it's scary.

slowly everything is unfolding. i cannot wait!!!!!!

freddie mclair

2010-03-15T20:27:00.001+08:00

freddie got murdered by effy's psychotic therapist. got bludgeoned to death with a baseball bat.
i am still mourning.

i am very upset.

one night

2010-03-13T11:40:00.004+08:00

heavy lungs, light heads.
chaos effect, bring it on!

porn going dry

2010-03-11T21:47:00.005+08:00

henrik halvarsson

yesterday at 3 in the morning, a friend called me just to tell me that apparently our Malaysian government has blocked anyone with an IP from this country to access a few major porn sites. i found this hilarious because he did sound super upset about it. he even managed to get me to try accessing the site but with no avail (thank god). so he decided to stock up on his porn before we turn into the next China; mentioning he was going to Low Yatt this weekend to buy a Terabyte hard drive specifically for porn. i'd say the same thing to the rest of you... in case any of you out there are facing the same problem.

vicious cycle

2010-03-11T21:36:00.004+08:00

alexander mcqueen fall/winter 2010

these are the pieces which i kinda liked from his collection. now the thing is, i am not sure if my opinion on them are simply biased or not. even the reason why i am writing about the dead designer's clothing line puzzles me. did i form some what of a connection to his last collection & decided to blog about it simply because he was dead? maybe more attention were given to this collection out of respect and grief because the industry lost such a talent at a young age. but seriously, if he were still alive, would we have given more of a damn about it anyway?

ploopy

2010-03-11T00:07:00.004+08:00

i nicknamed Iris PLOOPY because it sounds cute & also she has this funny stance when she poops. maybe all dogs look funny when taking a crap but it's not like i pay attention to all crapping animals. like hello, i got better things to look at such as bot fly laying eggs in people's faces rather than watch dogs pooping! these isn't the most awesome shot of her because i've been struggling since forever trying to capture her doing something extremely cute and take a snap shot, but unfortunately she's camera shy. LIKE ME! :D

so all i got is this picture of her sleeping. on my bed. by this mom-jeans my mom once owned & now it's used as her comfort blanket and chew toy.

PLOOPY is fidgety in bed like me. she twitches and changes position like crazy. meaning on this queen sized bed, she could eventually end up where ever. thus causing me having to gymnastically maneuver my fat lard of a body around where she's sleeping because instead of choosing a corner to sleep on, she decides to sleep where i'm laying.

that being said, i miss having that somebody play footy with me under the blanket. just saying, despite the irrelevanity <<( i made that word up in case you thought my english was bad)... of this entry. but seriously, you can delete yourself on cyberspace but you cannot delete yourself from my mind (oh god, that's the most corniest shit i've ever written. shoot. me. now. please.)

the mess i've made

2010-03-10T09:31:00.003+08:00

iselin steiro by mario sorrenti for Interview March 2010

i would have taken a picture of how my cupboard looked like with literally an avalanche of clothes piled up so high that one could really wonder the struggle i have to go through every time i needed to pick out a top. because how i've already come to terms with the changes in my life that i've decided to do a major spring clean. i threw out a huge bag of clothes which reminded me of how i used to be; clingy clubbing tops, floral dresses, worded t-shirts, DIY projects gone wrong & clothes 2 sizes too small. i guess i no longer have the problem of holding onto things which are irrelevant to me. this applies to other real-life scenarios. why hold on to things which were once phases in your life you have no intention of going back to?

can i be as lucky?

2010-03-10T00:37:00.002+08:00

i want a proper glimpse into another person's soul. how every kiss is not merely a kiss but a hunger to fill that empty void. i want to need; i want to be deathly addicted to someone and so will he to me- "a mutual addiction". i want to finally make love; not just empty sex with the illusion of lust and perhaps love for the act itself. i want to have someone so wholly without the guilty after-taste. can i finally have that video montage moment? a Hollywood romance enacted through me? please...