a million beginning with no ending

Wednesday, November 19, 2008 1:06 PM

i don't know why even though i tell myself over and over again that the change in heart through college was merely coincidental and not because i decided i can no longer finish up my psychology degree. psych was an eye opener. i actually enjoyed it. and then because i thought i could handle it i took up business as well. so i spent 2 wonderful years at HELP (the people and friends who grew on to me contributed to the "wonderful" experience heavily).
so because i've sorta taken enough credit hours to transfer to USA, i told my mom why don't i take 2008 off so that i can work my ass off and then jet off to Obama-land leaving my family teary eyed in KLIA.
well that did not happen because the idea of me not in KL didn't sync together with the bank account. so i made the most matured decision ever and told my parents that "you know what, i don't want to go overseas because overseas sucks! USA totally SUCKS!" - well i didn't say that but technically along those lines.... minus the "suck" part because i still whole-heartedly love the US-of A (sorry Uncle Jo!).
and then because i kinda lifted that $100,000 a year burden off their chest, my mom said i could go to any college here in KL (i told them HELP did not help me in any way besides the socializing and maybe the whole psycho-analytic bullcrap which works when you have a lot on your mind).
so i looked for colleges which may not involve anyone else i know. seriously what fun is it to go to a college where you already know everyone? i wanted to start fresh, meet new people, develop new crushes (fail!) and maybe lead a new lifestyle (the life part remains but the style has improved drastically i think...)
the irony of it all was when i decided Raffles was like my calling. why irony? because i moved to Bangsar from Ampang and Raffles is in Ampang. so leading back to the first sorry part of the post, the reason why i think me changing my whole college course wasn't because of indecisions or not being able to finish up what i started.... it was more of a convenience as i almost wanted to take the same thing at this college in Central Oklahoma in addiction to my psych degree (don't ask) and yes i do admit while college surfing/searching, fashion marketing did appeal to me because it had the word "fashion" and does not necessarily involve drawing/designing actual clothes (this would be fun if i could draw!) and also i actually LOVED Bill's business classes (i can hear groaning and a WTF plastered on your faces... - maybe i loved his classes because he never failed me tee hee!)
safe to say there would be an ending for my business degree thing but not so much for psychology (oh how i miss poking fun at all the dirty sex analysis in class)

-this huge piece up there is for those who still questions my decision and wonders why the fuck i'm still here and not where i said i would be.

i still keep my HELP student ID because technically i am still enrolled there. i just can't bring myself to let go of all the things that went down while i was still wedged between 6 hour breaks and sitting down for hours at Mags day in and day out. i miss those shit. along with all the people who made me roll out of bed every single morning.

<3

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