sometimes it takes little wasted feelings to know these things. which is why i am doomed to die being a stone with a strong virtue. being a complete wasted fuck on a saturday gets my mind jogging on a few things which have slipped out of my consciousness these past couple of days. my body is making a killing with the backaches from excessive lying downs. i'm a bum with a conscious. i'm making this into a rubbish of gibberish rants. sorry if this takes longer than expected to be deciphered. the point is, at some point today while trying to nap for the hundredth time, i came to this revelation/conclusion or whatever some might call it that some people are really worth the time to be over-analyzed and getting beat up over. why? because in the end i found out that almost everything i feared of were becoming a reality and now i am so fucking glad i tossed and turned in the middle of the night getting worked up analyzing the poor fool. i embraced the biggest flaws and maybe getting a bit tired. the question is, why am i attracting such bad chi's? or specifically useless twats who happens to fuck me up each and every time?
this is no longer a case of bad luck or stale karma. i now understand how this beautiful and complicated universe works. i am getting useless wankers because mentally i am not looking for the hot rebel nice guy i've always wanted. i've been ready to push the rejected and mutilated ones all along. so since i'm already built and ready to say no and push, the universe gives me countless of target practices in a form of assholes, wankers, sexual predators and creeps. negativity WAS the key for the self-combative mode. the whole think-of-the-worst-case-sc
i feel so much better already. getting this into the much larger picture :)
*note to YOU: why don't YOU grow up a little and omgiamthinkingofrusselpete
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