alone

watching the second season of Skins made me rekindle those old emotions i chose to shut down these past couple of months. its funny how just moments before i pressed play i had a conversation about how certain shows make us feel those pent up emotions and making us feel so effed up; wanting what we can never have or make us realize what we are missing after so long. I feel that now. i've been surrounding myself with great company. something not everybody is lucky to have even a tenth of it; and yet this stagnant feeling of contentment is slowly driving me crazy. sometimes in the company of friends i can feel completely alone. i think this has been surfacing recently.
i don't think i'm miserable. and i don't think i am happy either. i'm neither here nor there and that feeling of being stuck in limbo keeps me up at night. maybe i'm letting go too easily. my coping mechanism is faulty as i may have misplaced feelings or some sort.
whatever it is i hope it goes away. or at least something more news-worthy replaces it.