maybe i was trying to work my magic by psyching the universe with some sort of my sad sod of an interpretation of reverse psychology. i guess it backfired when i actually started sorta getting what i didn't want to mean in the first place. last night, i watched an episode of SPINdustry on E! & thought "hey, wait a minute... this looks all way too familiar". then that got me thinking that i should complain less about my current living situation because hell, a lot of people would KILL to be in the position i am in. so i've been feeling in the rut these past couple of days, talking to myself in my head and sometimes almost reduces me to tears. i've admitted that i've never worked in a proper job before. especially one that involves high responsibilities & stress. so maybe i am getting used to the idea that i will end up marrying this job; putting everything else on hold for a bit because honestly this is where i want to be in the first place. i should not complain about not being able to meet friends because i am usually SO tired by the time i clock out - which mind you is rarely when the sun is still up; and i should actually still try living a little without compromising who i am. sure it's gonna be tough and tiring but i don't wanna end up hating my job altogether. because when that happens what else can i look forward to? for now i should say i am engaged to my job. wedding plans on the way with Fashion Week inching closer & faster than anyone else would think. honestly i miss the life i had mere months ago. the whole day spent sitting at Delicious hoping they would not kick us out, movie dates with my girl friends - from horror to flicks which involved sweet hot men... oh and the nighst; the nights we spend getting ready and making an entrance where ever we went. this included screams and awkward dance moves suggesting compromising positions & the sleepover/hangover after. i suppose sooner or later all of us will move on to the next chapter in our lives; be it with school, work or marriage, i'll hope for the best for all of us.
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