this is for us, Anya Roslan

werewolves should not wear clothes...

city girl part 3

maybe i was trying to work my magic by psyching the universe with some sort of my sad sod of an interpretation of reverse psychology. i guess it backfired when i actually started sorta getting what i didn't want to mean in the first place. last night, i watched an episode of SPINdustry on E! & thought "hey, wait a minute... this looks all way too familiar". then that got me thinking that i should complain less about my current living situation because hell, a lot of people would KILL to be in the position i am in. so i've been feeling in the rut these past couple of days, talking to myself in my head and sometimes almost reduces me to tears. i've admitted that i've never worked in a proper job before. especially one that involves high responsibilities & stress. so maybe i am getting used to the idea that i will end up marrying this job; putting everything else on hold for a bit because honestly this is where i want to be in the first place. i should not complain about not being able to meet friends because i am usually SO tired by the time i clock out - which mind you is rarely when the sun is still up; and i should actually still try living a little without compromising who i am. sure it's gonna be tough and tiring but i don't wanna end up hating my job altogether. because when that happens what else can i look forward to? for now i should say i am engaged to my job. wedding plans on the way with Fashion Week inching closer & faster than anyone else would think. honestly i miss the life i had mere months ago. the whole day spent sitting at Delicious hoping they would not kick us out, movie dates with my girl friends - from horror to flicks which involved sweet hot men... oh and the nighst; the nights we spend getting ready and making an entrance where ever we went. this included screams and awkward dance moves suggesting compromising positions & the sleepover/hangover after. i suppose sooner or later all of us will move on to the next chapter in our lives; be it with school, work or marriage, i'll hope for the best for all of us.

lazy

one night i felt like reading. but i wanted to snuggle under the covers in the dark too. if i were to read, i had to turn on the bright right and would have to expose my hands in the nice cold air-cond making it sore and numb. then i would not want to read anymore because i would need to turn the pages. you know the saying "you cannot have your cake and eat it too?" well i guess that saying was made before the time of audio books or digital books. because i then downloaded the book online, switched off the lights, snuggled under the blanket and listened to my book.

i am actually a mermaid who can't swim

mundane money making monday

hello Mr. Monday,

i hope you are kind to me and would make me less nervous and anxious than i already am.

i am in all black today for the second week in the row. but i made the effort to put on a nice scarf and rings i bought yesterday will my mommy. oh and i am not wearing Joe today even though he would have matched my rings perfectly because he actually gives me tiny blisters when her rubs against my ankles.

so please be kind. and tell your other friends; Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday & Saturday to be kind to me as well.

thank you & i love you.

Sincerely,

Nadia A.M.

crayolas

crayola cutter Dime Cho

i was a crayola kid. i had glitter crayons too.

once you see love, you will forever be blinded

Signe Vilstrup

smoking is only sexy when you are sexy without it to begin with.

i'm not sorreh

The Apologist by City of Glass. very Cut Copy-esque. me likey so me sharey.

HAPPY SUNDAY!

"alamak!" in super high octaves

ALAMAK SO KESIAN!!!

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

i would scoop it up and hug until it probably dies

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

blackish

my working-on-a-saturday face.

again i am in all black. black converse, back skinnies, black t-shirt and black scarf.

i like girls

Megan Fox for Interview magazine by Craig McDean

yesterday i read about porn star Sasha Grey who's acting in this indie flick as a call girl (such a cliche role for a pornstar) and then i saw her fully naked with a chick. so i went on IMDB and found out she was my age and that her bra size was a 32B. i then i felt so fat & so unsexually attractive as compared to her. fair enough she's a porn star but hell, if i looked like her i'll be a porn star too!

& i thought i had the cutest puppy

by Ukranian photographer & digital artist Firs Vizerskoy @ Kassandra

WTF is that?!

no hair gel / gunk needed. seriously.

boys for me and boys for boys

Kai Z Feng; Shanghai photographer based in London.

spot my boys from Skins ;)

i just jizzed in my skinnies but because they are so tight/sprayed-on (oh Jaime, you are my favorite Topshop item!), i managed to de-jizz. does that make any sense?

voodoo me pretty

Andrew Yang's Kouklitas collection. Kouklitas is a term for "dolls" in Greek as these dolls are dressed to resemble some famous fashion designers' Spring collection.

HAPPY THURSDAY!!

city girl part 2

this is me at work at 9:30 in the morning. nobody but the production boy here so i figured i might update on my daily routine since every "famous" blogger seems to be doing it... no offense. i have been wearing black this week. my color palate has gone monochrome-d for obvious reasons. first because i look slimmer in black, grey, white & second i actually ran out of fun things to wear. so i'm going back to the mundane and minimalistic approach by going plain and simple. i get told off about my hair my various people. yes, my hair's grown to a length i no longer can manage thus why i am giving up hope by just letting it be. slab a bit of curling gunk and a few clips on the fringe and i am good to go. some would call it my own style but i just call it plainly giving up. my nervousness has yet to fully die down but i guess i am doomed to have it forever. which is fine because it keeps my appetite at bay & actually gets me out of bed. i no longer know my roles in this work place since i've been doing pretty much this and that with no complaints. it's great working in the city with the sound of drilling & hammering outside and above my floor plus the amount of dust and cement i am inhaling everyday when walking to and fro. i guess this is my replacement for actual cigarettes since i am on a brink of stopping completely. the craving's gone. however feed me some whiskey or beer and you might have to spare me a cigarette. thus i no longer have an appeal to alcohol. alcohol leads to cigarettes. since this new chapter of my life started i've started leaving phases of my life behind. my partying days are obviously over especially after my hips stopped moving at the beat of music & the excessive yawns in a club. i still tap and shake my legs so thank god i still got a music bone inside of me. slowly i am looking at the brighter side of this life with the intention of being great & even-more awesome some day. everyone wants to be somebody; the ability to make an impact within society. i am super thankful to the people who has helped me to make my way there.

Black Spray on Jaime Jeans

i finally bought the pair of Jaime skinnies which i've wanted so badly since i first tried in on back when Chibs was still in town. if you recall, i had an episode when i accidentally tried on the pair which was 2 sizes too small and panicked in the fitting room thinking i have grown fat in just a couple of months. well i've finally found a pair which fit me almost perfectly (there's no such thing as a perfect pair of jeans. THEY DO NOT EXIST!!!). 29 inch in length from the petite section which grazes my ankles almost perfectly. seriously this pair of jeans gives the illusion that i have skinny and long legs (to me at least. don't laugh if you found out i was wrong). putting them on is quite a feat. not because they don't fit me but because they are so "sprayed on" that i have trouble pulling them up. sticking true to it's name it fits so closely to my skin that it is safe to say i can substitute the conventional pair of leggings with Jaime. tucking them in my 8-hole Doc Martens is as easy as tucking them in the 14-hole one. like i said - LEGGINGS. not to be confused with "Jeggings" seriously the name itself sounds obscene.

feeling happy that i've finally gotten the pair of jeans i've always wanted, i was actually under the impression that i lost weight. so last night i happily stepped onto the weighing scale to see if i can be proven right. unfortunately stuff like that only happens in the fake world of beach diets & chiseled oiled up men fanning you by the pool. i on the other hand do not get to indulge in such luxuries.

GAH

my third week starts today & i'm already a nervous wreck. i know they said things will get easier through time, they are partially right & even though things were not as hectic as my first i could start feeling the weight of the responsibilities i have to carry. it's cool though despite having the feeling that everything is starting way too quickly. i have yet fully allowed the fact that i've graduated sink in. i've been jumping on huge ships since convocation. from the surprise trip to Sydney and starting my internship straight away after barely being back for 12 hours. and then mid way of adjusting in a publication/events company, i left to take lead in a full time job i've only dreamt of having. maybe this anxiety attack happens because i am still not used to this. heck, i had never taken on a proper job. EVER. working as a shop assistant at 16 does not count because it was my uncle's shop anyway. now i am somebody who works from 9 till when the sun sets because 9-5 only applies to the stock market. and i don't think my company is even listed.

so what i am trying to say is, i am having this puking feeling of discomfort & i hate it. i hate breathing heavily unless it comes with a night of smoking or sex. otherwise this brings me closer to the brink of a nervous breakdown. i'm constantly paranoid that every wrong move i make will end me up getting fired. i fell sick because of this. from a throbbing headache, flu and even a fever. this anxiety is taking me down and i need to find a way to deal.

oh help me.

our nunga-nungas are the same size

because we can go on and on forever.

angus, thongs & aaron johnson

i finally finished watching Angus, Thongs & Full-Frontal Snogging. i downloaded the movie when it first came out and cringed like a rat eating skittles. i felt pain & humiliation. i was a bit disappointed with the cast and acting because it was no where as funny as the book; which i collected in HARD COVER by the way years ago. i remembered going to Kinokuniya and ordering the book before it came out. yes, AGES ago. i laughed like a mad hyena reading the book. a rarity really because i think i did have tears of laughter. then i guess i realized that so far there's barely a handful of book-to-movie adaptations which turned out equally better than the book. So i guess what i am trying to say is, i finally watched the movie because Aaron Johnson is in it. i fell in love with Kick-Ass so much that i caved in. despite Aaron having a squeaky voice in ATFFS; which made him sound like a tranny, he looks so delish that it is such a shame that he'd gotten involve with a 40-something director and impregnated her in the process. i guess shit happens.

well that's my current trend in movie-watching. i download movies (Crap or Brilliant) depending on who's in it. this has resulted in me watching movies like Wimbledon, Legion & Da Vinci Code over and over again because i am currently also infatuated with Paul Bettany.

city girl part 1

i take the train to my new workplace now. i take the train in pretty clothes & lugging around my Alexander Wang-inspired bag filled with magazine clippings, Dazed & Confused + i.D magazines, laptop, headphones, Moleskin & a ton of other work related matter. i walk and i drop by to buy coffee at 9AM. a supersized cup of Cafe Latte with a double shot of expresso and no sugar. and then i walk some more among uniformed ladies rushing to departmental stores & restaurant to start work. ladies in hair-buns, opaque stockings, one-and-a-half inch heels and 2 shades lighter foundation. i walk silently, keeping my iPod safe at home amongst my make-up & old hair products. i walk and pant all the way up to my office on the 13th floor. so i set my MacBook Pro on the table and begin planning out my day. i shudder at the thought of the over-piling events & projects i am heading. i start to pale at the thought of time-constrains. i breathe heavily but no longer craving for a cigarette. something i have slowly learnt to avoid since i started working here. i realized that this will now be my life; the late night in the office, the lack of deep sleep, the depleted craving for food & day-dreaming of what-ifs. i am here now. a place some people can only dream of being. despite the less glamourous location i am the reality of Running In Heels. except i don't wear heels. something i should start practicing from now on in case i happen to have to wear one and start walking like a duck. they made me Feature Editor. now what?

given

there's no particular theme to this posting's images of choice; in case you were wondering.

i feel so blessed and i am happy.

god helps those who help themselves. amen.

sunday best

that is not my MacBook Pro screen which i broke to make it look like an iPad.

so my cousin is one of those techie people who would buy anything new that is out in the market. if he were living in the US, he'll be the first few queueing up at the Mac center. he was one of the few who managed to snag the iPad when it was first introduced.

that's him in the background by the way. sneakily making sure i do not accidentally drop his new baby. so now i can finally say that i have touched and played with the iPad. HAH!

and then later on in the day Uncle Joe came to me and was like "i got something for you, girl...". excited, i followed him to this huge bag filled with things and he pulled out this navy blue case. i unzipped the bag to find something SO unexpected that i laughed. Abang Faris was there and he then pulled this out:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Uncle Joe bought me a pair of KILLER SWORDS!! he said "oh that day you were talking about it so i got you one to kill (insert Uncle Joe's favorite citizens)" i told him he's been watching too much Kick-Ass. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! and then Karl saw it and was like "Nadia, are you going to practice how to use it?" yeah sure & i must remember to make a leather outfit to match it with.

taste in men

i am in love with Mark Strong. boy, my taste in men has shifted from the likes of Devon Sawa/Nick Carter in the 90s' to this villain.

at work

work. 4 more weeks.

nothing deep of witty to be filled here for now. the pictures are self-explanatory. i was waiting for my videos to be converted.

t-shirt - We Are Mutants circa 2009's infamous Halloween Party

boots - Dr Martens Johari Spring 2010 collection