hari mendung yang akan hujan

*this post is gonna be written under the influence of emo music*

i can feel the room getting darker and darker as the rain clouds are approaching. i have a feeling it won't really rain though. the cats are already getting lazy and i guess its not just a human thing to do when its about to rain, animals become lazy-asses too. i've napped twice today alone with Snuffles on my bed. despite his size, he's taking up the most space. listening to head-banging music will only hurt my head now. so listening to CSS or the Klaxons would be a feeble attempt now. so lemme put on Warning Sign for the hundredth time in 48 hours. new years eve is inching closer by the minute with no committed plans. the closer the clock ticks the idea of spending new years with close friends starts dawning upon me. one thing definite would be doing the ritual of spending new years with Chibbies with conversations and seizure-worthy laughter.
the idea of a new year does not effect me despite having significant changes each year. and each year gets easier and harder at the same time. last year was a year of temporary and permanent goodbyes with moving friends and deaths.
this year was a chapter of starting something new with my life - starting fashion in raffles, making new life-long buddies, rekindling old relationships, losing and finding myself. too many phases of my life happened all at once this year. the hardcore partying phase, substance experiments, promiscuity and most importantly striving my ass off for something i really want. the negativity phases have passed on, thank god for that. just in time for the new year. i've changed too many times this year which made me doubt my abilities to change into a bigger mess even further. but i think i did good. all the self doubt and bad habits are thrown with full force out the window. i'm ready to tackle new obstacles in the next year. i say bring it on :)

so i don't have any resolutions. i stopped making them a couple of years ago knowing i could never stick to any of them. i mean seriously people, who the hell could? so this year i'm just gonna wish for a more exciting 2009. good or bad, its the fun of struggling to keep up that counts at the very end. i got through a hefty list of bumps and potholes this year, its only fair if next year would make Crash Banicoot look so fucking easy. i'm not asking for bad things, just something to get me thinking happy thoughts at night.