inhuman

i feel immune to the negativity that i think i am made out of stone. i failed my driving test today and is it sick to feel relieved? because i sure as hell feel that way. i can't recall back what i felt while waiting and knowing i just failed something i should be mustering years ago. maybe i got my head screwed in wrongly. i do not know. i'm not really beating myself over it nor am i burying myself under covers for such a stupid failure. to me i'm just thinking that this is such a waste of money. really. i freak out in on going traffic. i literally freeze on the steering wheel. i almost crashed a car today. wow. highlight of 2009? barely.
i came home feeling more tired. i'm feeling more quiet as the day progresses because i can't think of anything significant to say anymore. i think i am unable to place myself in anybody's shoes anymore because that would make me a hypocrite. i wish i could sleep everything off; waking up to a clean slate. can i do that please?
i need a good breather. and something really awesome to happen to get my mind off these couple of weeks; months. i just want to get away from the stresses. its getting on my nerves.