failure to pretend

i hate it when after everything you pretend everything is okay. you start talking to me nicely as though nothing happened. as though you didn't backhand my face. or threw punches at my back. or jabbed me in the stomach. you act so normally. i hate that.
and i hate that feeling where i feel like i could forgive you and pretend that this never happened. i hate myself for starting to feel sorry for you when you should feel sorry for me instead. i fucking hate you.