forgotten

"despite all my rage i'm still a rat in a cage" - Smashing Pumpkins' Bullet with Butterfly Wings.

i forgot to hold grudges or be angry towards someone who really deserves it. i forgot feeling things and just letting it all go by crying at the corner of my bed and then walking out of my room smiling with dry salty streaks down my cheeks. i forgot being able to tell the people i love everything i feel. i forgot to feel for others like how they would feel for me. i forgot how to not get over things too easily. i forgot that i no longer have separate rooms to run to and cry to. i forgot how writing it all out makes me feel. i forgot the feeling lying down on the cold tiled floor outside just looking at the stars trying to peep through the clouds. i forgot the feeling of anticipation something magnificant and great. i forgot the feeling of being optimistic and hopeful. i forgot how i felt the last time i felt whole and free. i forgot how to not feel lonely when being alone.