blackish

my working-on-a-saturday face.

again i am in all black. black converse, back skinnies, black t-shirt and black scarf.

WTF is that?!

no hair gel / gunk needed. seriously.

the mess i've made

iselin steiro by mario sorrenti for Interview March 2010

i would have taken a picture of how my cupboard looked like with literally an avalanche of clothes piled up so high that one could really wonder the struggle i have to go through every time i needed to pick out a top. because how i've already come to terms with the changes in my life that i've decided to do a major spring clean. i threw out a huge bag of clothes which reminded me of how i used to be; clingy clubbing tops, floral dresses, worded t-shirts, DIY projects gone wrong & clothes 2 sizes too small. i guess i no longer have the problem of holding onto things which are irrelevant to me. this applies to other real-life scenarios. why hold on to things which were once phases in your life you have no intention of going back to?

air oil

so many things are heading in the same direction that i have no idea which to hitchhike with. i've been sleeping in a perpetual mess ever seen my kakak is staying with my grandfather in Klang. i am helpless when it comes to cleaning because i do them only once a month. i think the mess makes me anxious because when i am anxious i get messy. get the irony? my friends are telling me to seek actual professional help. like dialing some sort of toll free helpline. some even suggested Valium. but i think at the end of the line i would get a HELP psychology intern and Valium cost money and i rather spend on things which would make me temporarily happy. someone even mentioned that i have gained weight and that it is very noticeable. so i am anxious, erratic, messy and fat. figures why i am single and will die alone.

to-do list this week

1. download brushes and fonts for my web design class
2. figure out my logo
3. complete my press kit write up
4. write the journal for arcs
5. spend the last 2 days with Chibs cause i won't see her in A BLOODY YEAR.
6. take a breather.
7. nap

first thing first... zzzzzzzzzzz

in & out

today was my first day at class after a 2 -week hiatus. and i dunno but the work pile is making me nervous. i just sent in the email regarding the job offer so i'm waiting for that and i'm considering starting on my Fashion Communication project right now so i can not worry about it later but i feel like crap because i just woke up from the type of sleep which gets me feeling anxious and crap when i wake up. taking lungful of air is not helping either. its like the lack of oxygen is making me even more nervous. i'm so scared to take this whole "taking over a new leaf" to the extreme. i hope i can do it. and do it well and be awesome. haha (that was a nervous attempt on being funny)

bruises

yesterday i blindly walked into a knee high chest and bruised my knee. its swelling up and the purple and yellow has yet to show. we'll see.

the law that attracts you to things

today was supposedly day one of my third term for the year and because i was being a lazy cow; a superstitious one i might add, i decided to cut class by staying at home blogging and taking my infamous long nap. today i woke up with close to nil intentions of heading to class by having to walk in the hot sun and taking public transports from one destination to another. after consulting the magic 8 ball, i still got up and got dressed and actually walked out the door. and then i realized there were no cabs at the places i usually get cabs and even if i did happen to stop a cab, they were already full or heading some place else. honey, if that isn't a sign to NOT go for the first class of the term, i dunno what is. headed to the bookstore for a bit to browse and came home for lunch. and then i had this genius idea of switching off my phone and going through my day as usual. 15 missed calls in 2 hours. thus the inability to get the memo to hang out with the people at said Delicious in BV2. besides i am too darn broke and feeling/looking completely ugly with mini sewage-monster lookalikes growing on top of my forehead. what a way to jump start the week.

bare

parker

she's absolutely gorgeous. just had to post this up since i'm looking for inspiration for my next project. and i think looking at her pictures, it is making me much more sure than ever.

"anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. now a bald girl - there's your diamond in the rough"

stay tuned.

parental twitter

my mom is now following me on Twitter. i'm totally transparent now -_-'

what i want is what i need

1. i want to write again. as in proper writing without that many of the use of swear words. writing as in things which possibly could get me published in the New York Times. something meaningful about life and the things which evolves around it as conceded it may sound. i believe what makes a person interesting is the fact that the person is interacting with everything around them - from people, objects, weather and even animals; which eventually helps the person evolve into the person they are today.

2. i am in dire need of a new look. it has been 3 years since i last sniffed my own hair let alone combed it. which is why the lack of interest in hair products.

3. starting over is one thing but starting over when everything around you remains the same is a difficult if not an impossible task. since moving out of the country is not up to debate, i need to find a way to accomplish this almost-impossible feat without turning away the people that matters most and without costing too much money.

4. i need to find or discover a new skill. something new and probably weird which is highly interesting in order for me to maintain that said interest for quite some time. and probably market it so that i could actually make some dough out of said interest/talent.

dry eyes

my eyes have been feeling rather dry this past couple of days and i don't know if i should blame the weather or the fact that i spend my day mostly curled up in a fetal position taking long ass naps. can't blame the contact lenses since i've stopped wearing them in the long run and the alcohol because i have cut down DRASTICALLY. this week long "break" is spent being really unproductive and i've been sleeping in every single day and my mom does not make a big deal of it i guess because i spent the last term staying awake working on projects by an unrealistic lecturer who has REALLY bad time management.

//

i've spent my month-worth allowance in approximately 2 weeks. so i'm so screwed its not funny. with the term starting i am in dire need of a new leather bag, stationaries, clothes... oh my.

//

heading to Laundry tonight with the bimbo and her Swiss date. aku terpaksalah jadi roda ketiga/tiang lampu untuk malam ni. haha!

//

oh met this girl in the bathroom in BV just now and apparently she keep tabs on me from time to time. what gave me away was the hair -_-
so between washing my hands and drying it, we were basically talking about THE SEWAGE MONSTER!! because when she said she reads my blog, the first thing i said was "oh thanks, did you watch the sewage monster video??" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! and SHE ACTUALLY DID!
it was nice being acknowledged by a complete stranger :) so hello, Ri!!! *waves frantically like a retarded loser i am*

//

i'm gonna go decide what to wear for later. girlie or androgynous? hmmmm....

relapse

got my new specs today. and i think due to the increase in power, it made me act a bit strange...

//

this past couple of posts they have been mostly picture posts. i haven't had the proper time to settle in to writing more of the deep stuff because i've been keeping myself occupied with people who are back here in KL. i guess surrounding myself with great company puts the emo-ness on hold for a bit.

my sayangs

my baby boy & baby daddy <3

fat lard

the difference between YOU and me. i totally understand how the bunny feels :(
i'm bloated like no other. i have been consuming so much liquids this past couple of days that i should be staying away from sharp pointy objects. i came home completely ill and was rolling in bed for 2 hours whining to my brother and mom that i wanted to throw up every drop of Watermelon & Lychee Blast from Delicious and Iced Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks.

bunny, i completely feel you.

farting queen

i admit, i fart. a lot. not because i am a disgusting person but innocently enough its because i cannot burp to save my life. so what better way to release the gas? better out than in. i'm constantly bloated all the time especially since i dislike drinking anything warm; i prefer everything iced cold and usually they get you bloated easily. weird as it seems, if i were to lie down when bloated, i cannot see beyond my tummy. sometimes i bloat so much, my boobs seem like mosquito bites in comparison. i'm a D-cup so that says a lot about me and my bloated tummy. once out of curiousity, i lay down flat on the bed and released the most gas the ozon could take and i could actually see my tummy getting flatter and flatter. no fucking joke. the picture above is actually the point of this post. they are actually stickers which you can stick to your underwear; kinda like wearing panty liners and supposedly they will not make your fart smell THAT foul. everyone, once in awhile will release the foulest smelling fart known to mankind. don't lie because i sometimes do to. but most of the time they are harmless gas and i could be farting right beside you and you wouldn't even know it. so i thought the idea for this is kinda genius considering the fact that some people who farts a lot tend to be in a company of a lot of people. and these farts are usually the foul ones which NOBODY would admit to. i don't think the product is being sold in pharmacies but you can get them online here for USD$9.95. quite pricey but i think the concept is BRILLS!!!

AND AND AND!!!!

the website also sells this Garment Guard sticker thing which basically are stick-on pads which you stick on the inside of your clothes such as your underarms so that your garment will stay stain free from sweating and such. damn cool right!!!

basically Garment Guard sells a whole load of stickers for you to stick inside your clothes to protect them :D

signs

a sign at a liquor store reads "the liver is evil, it must be punished!" - HAHAHAHAHAHA!

i feel like going to the movies by myself because its been awhile since i watched a movie on my own but my ass feels heavy and thus i am listening to my ass by leaving it planted on my comfy bed. i wish i would get paid writing stuff like this from home because apparently people actually do read this (HELLO!!!!) and i can do this for life. there's always so many things to write about; you just need the right place to look for it. just now i got hungry so i cooked pasta with 2 cups of milk and half a block of butter and gobbled the entire things down in 5 minutes before Man Vs. Wild on telly. i love Bear Grylls. even his name is sexy. and he's British and so his accent is absolute sex to me. even watching him piss in his own water canister and drinking it is fucking sexy. is it possible to get excess fat flowing into your brain thus making you a bit senile? i think the butter is catching up on me. my mom just got back and actually remembered about me so she bought me a packet of chicken rice for lunch. little did she know that i've already eaten my fat lunch. but i love chicken rice and thus i will eat it. like right now. i am going to die a fat mohawked barely 21 girl in an oversized titanium coffin.

people who are not too embarrassed to take a picture with me

geraldine, wengkit, aizyl, vinod, stefan, a bunch of steffi's friends whom i cannot remember, sorry!!!, nicola, sashya, steffi.

chiky, miriam

nicola, steffi, amanda

helenna maria

miriam omar

hadi

harith

rudi agassi

vinka, miriam, chiky, roe

chiky sierra

miriam omar

roe

my friends are cool. can't say much about me though. HAHA!

you are so benign

i think if all turns out badly i would wanna work for a children's show. like dress up as an animal in a furry suit and just talk funny. like Teletubbies. first of all i'll be wearing a suit so people can't see me. i could still try acting cool. OR i could do voice overs for cartoons. i could act as the Asian dorky kid who just arrived at Springfield and befriends Lisa or an alien chick for Roger the Alien or just be one of the retarded characters in Family Guy. hmm the prospects are endless....

//

stop using me as a plug to fill in your pathetic void. fuck you and fuck your sad pathetic attempts into making yourself or me for that matter; to feel better.

quarantine

i'm gonna stay home this week because:

1. some of my friends were exposed to the swine flu so as a precaution my parents told me to stay away from them for awhile. HAHA sorry girls!!

2. Chibs went to Phuket for 5 days.

3. I have only $130 in my wallet to last me for maybe 20 days or so.

4. i've been waking up ugly.

5. i still wanna revamp my room.

6. again i've been waking up really ugly.