on writing words on empty sheets

Thursday, December 3, 2009 11:50 AM


Mutant Mayhem 28/11/09

i am on constant search of new material to write about or to at least share. my fascination with so many things sometimes gets me feeling so tied up that writing about every single thing excites me even further to look for more things which builds up. i must say that i am not the best writer in the world despite wanting to become one professionally back in the day when i was a kid writing fiction novels in empty notebooks. and then came to the realization that my imagination could run out and suffering from writer's block mid-way of a very important report brings you close to tears and suicide. i no longer have that dream of wanting to write professionally after being introduced to greater writers than myself. i was easily intimidated by the greatness of others and maybe that is why i hardly get anywhere back then.
and that was when i realized that many people usually get by through luck and talent and not just by talent alone. well maybe here in KL it works that way but seriously how many people have you seen being at the very top but know deep down that they were actually not that good in the first place. i sometimes envy and get irritated by such successes. a lucky break is not something you can go on looking although working your ass off trying to get notice by the right people seems right.
i am not an avid blog-reader as i am more of a writer. reading other blogs frustrates me because they will either have really good material or crap ones which are both noticed by people and are actually loved. sometimes i wish i get more hits here because i not only write for myself but for other people as well and i am not ashamed of admitting that. i don't care if you have nasty things to say because at the end of the day i'll know that something i wrote had affected your life.
that is what i want really. that people will take notice of what i have here. this is not one of those personal attention-seeking gimmick because damn, i DO want my musings to be noticed by others simply because i want people to know that there are other things out there in the world. i am not talking about attention onto myself but more into what i have to say.
so i hope this reaches to the right people. because writing this on an empty stomach takes a huge sacrifice. so back to my roast chicken!

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