fiery pants

this fit has to come out sooner or later. maybe not so much of a bitch fit but more towards a disappointed fit which exceeds the feeling of confusion and possible sadness. it came to my knowledge that you out of all people i kinda respected, including people who looks up upon you almost god-like; has this other alternate life created for your own sick and twisted purposes. why you had to do it nobody knows but probably yourself. does it have to do with insecurities or this is just a facade you want people to know you for? when i look at you now, i no longer know if that trust i carefully build can exist anymore. the million conversations are diminishing their truth and beliefs that i'm now denying that any of those things ever happened. maybe we do have our moments when we feel like we need to belong some place or more specifically to some one rather than our parents and friends, but subjecting to creating an illusion of sex, popularity and possibility jealousy is almost sick and twisted. this world you created not-to-perfectly; and i say this because yes, i am admitting i may get a bit too nosy & i have an eye for coincidences and detail; is a bit unbelievable don't you think? it is not as though you live alone in a house like Lars and playing pretend with a blow-up mannequin. you have a life and the way i see it, it is better than most of us will ever have in a lifetime, and yet the act you're pulling seems to crash everything into debris. how will i ever act normally in front of you without rolling my eyes and doubting everything you say? sometimes i manage to piece little slips you've made that annoys the hell out of me. i don't confront you with this because i figured you have your own battles to fight; whatever it may be.
so the point of this is basically in letting you know that i am disappointed. especially after making a whole lot of fun knowing that not too long ago a common enemy made the same sad excuse to gain attention. and i'm sorry for being able to notice these things because no offense, your mistakes can be pointed out quite clearly once you start piecing the coincidences together.

rule of thumb: attention to detail, buddy. you got caught because you were sloppy ;)