GAH

Tuesday, June 8, 2010 7:58 AM

my third week starts today & i'm already a nervous wreck. i know they said things will get easier through time, they are partially right & even though things were not as hectic as my first i could start feeling the weight of the responsibilities i have to carry. it's cool though despite having the feeling that everything is starting way too quickly. i have yet fully allowed the fact that i've graduated sink in. i've been jumping on huge ships since convocation. from the surprise trip to Sydney and starting my internship straight away after barely being back for 12 hours. and then mid way of adjusting in a publication/events company, i left to take lead in a full time job i've only dreamt of having. maybe this anxiety attack happens because i am still not used to this. heck, i had never taken on a proper job. EVER. working as a shop assistant at 16 does not count because it was my uncle's shop anyway. now i am somebody who works from 9 till when the sun sets because 9-5 only applies to the stock market. and i don't think my company is even listed.
so what i am trying to say is, i am having this puking feeling of discomfort & i hate it. i hate breathing heavily unless it comes with a night of smoking or sex. otherwise this brings me closer to the brink of a nervous breakdown. i'm constantly paranoid that every wrong move i make will end me up getting fired. i fell sick because of this. from a throbbing headache, flu and even a fever. this anxiety is taking me down and i need to find a way to deal.

oh help me.

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