you speak of colors nobody has seen yet

Steven Gomillion & Dennis Leopold

i woke up feeling super uneasy that i was already wide awake, breathing heavily even before my alarm rang. my Sundays are precious to me because that is the one and ONLY day when i don't have to think about work or most importantly check my emails. Sunday mornings make me feel at ease. however once the sun starts setting, the anxiety kicks in & makes my Sunday night almost a complete wreck. sometimes i feel like i jump-started everything to soon. everyone is still leading the carefree life of skipping classes and sleeping till the afternoon. i wish i still had that or at least have the emotions of feeling at ease every single day. unfortunately i guess there comes a balance with everything that has been going on. with everything great something dark has to trail behind making sure that if i eventually mess up, it could catch me and make sure i am reminded of the negativity it brings me down. if i could wish for something i would want my anxiety problems to go away. to at least replace it with probably more confidence and humility in my own self. i think my anxiety has reached the point of being super paranoid about dying in a freak accident one day to waking up finding my entire family dead. that's how weird it has become.