good days & bad days

i guess i would have to break that little pinky promise i made. this is just too juicy if not so bleeding mind-boggling to not write about. never had i felt like i have crossed rivers and walked in uninvited in a unknown territory before. the feeling of lost and confused and maybe the occasional fear hits me in the gut making me feel like throwing up dinner or rolling in bed thinking how preschool all of these sounds like. i can laugh and smile about the situation and then as nature needs the balance, i get some kind of new shit to deal with. i wish i could genuinely say i no longer give a fuck in this tug of egotistical war but i would be worst off than when i started. i am trying my best to keep this optimistic; by thinking of all the rainbows and sparkles. should i be worried if at the end of the rainbow, i'll find a pot of leprechaun gold? and that it'll ultimately disappear?

i guess i could be happy for the mere ride of sliding off the rainbow.

the slow walk in the park and the conversation over good food was love. thank.you.