i'm on fire

i wonder how people suddenly blow up in flames. too hot to handle takes a literal meaning.

another night alone at home. i'm already feeling the confinement within these four walls. how stupid and preschool this feels like. how i can never have real guts standing up for my rights and rebelling against someone i should be rebelling against. am i losing my hardcore ways? not that i was REALLY hardcore to begin with anyway. i guess in my head i'm thinking that this is the least i can do without further pushing their over-used buttons. i consider myself lucky to still have my limbs attached and a home to live in despite coming home pissed drunk, tattooed, shaved and smelling so foul they can only wonder what i HAVEN'T done. and yet they don't say a word despite my brutal honestly of my shenanigans outside the safety zone they call home. i have cool and understanding parents as compared to the uptight ones that i know. their conservative ways does not effect me and the least they can say is by telling me to "cut down on the intake..." thats it. and the infamous "use plastic..." - its rubber mom but i still think you are funny.
i have once considered actually going head on in this whole acting out business only to get cold feet at the mere thought of my dad throwing a fit. animals will suffer heart attacks before i do. so i'm staying in despite its a Friday night. i'm saying no to Clashyard, dinner with the loves as well as quality time with other folks i have grown to love this past couple of days. its so hard yet so easy.

at least i get to save money. thats one good way of looking at it.

have a great Friday night.