air oil

so many things are heading in the same direction that i have no idea which to hitchhike with. i've been sleeping in a perpetual mess ever seen my kakak is staying with my grandfather in Klang. i am helpless when it comes to cleaning because i do them only once a month. i think the mess makes me anxious because when i am anxious i get messy. get the irony? my friends are telling me to seek actual professional help. like dialing some sort of toll free helpline. some even suggested Valium. but i think at the end of the line i would get a HELP psychology intern and Valium cost money and i rather spend on things which would make me temporarily happy. someone even mentioned that i have gained weight and that it is very noticeable. so i am anxious, erratic, messy and fat. figures why i am single and will die alone.