i found happiness in a stack of old cds

Wednesday, December 2, 2009 12:09 AM

yes that's exactly who you think it is...

was looking through my pile of shit in my drawers where i used to collect cigarette boxes; i used to collect them back when i didn't smoke as much. now that i do, collecting them would mean collecting mountains of crap. so basically in the same drawer i found my old burnt cds containing awesome playlists i used to make at Chibs' house back when i was probably 13.
the beauty of it was that i don't remember whats in them. no song list whatsoever. sliding them into my mac was a surprise waiting to happen.
right now i'm listening to The Rock Compilation with a few notable tunes:
Von Ray - Inside Out
The Distillers - Drain the Blood
(damn i used to be crazy over The Distillers because the lead singer reminded me so much of Courtney Love when Hole was still awesome)
Jane's Addiction - Just Because
Staind - So Far Away
The Ataris - Boys of Summer

then it brought me to the time i was a kid in Plastic t-shirts. Chibs & I would have matching t-shirts which we would wear with super low hip-huggers. we had our navel pierced back then (plus we were much thinner too... sigh)
how i tried relating the songs to my life back then.
how i used to pump up the volume whenever i was angry at my dad.
how i used to scribble depressing and morbid poems into my journals (which i found recently too all packed in my moving boxes. i found my runaway letters, suicide notes, poems on boy crushes...)
how i thought the world was daunting me.
how i used to make fun of people who still listened to pop songs.
how much i hated school and the people.
how i wanted a boy to actually like me back.
how i used to stalk the boys i was so in love with.

this was during the more introvert me. the me who looked awkward and had a dorky hairstyle.

i'm still going through the entire playlist, with google on my fingertips to search for song title & artist based on the lyrics. HAHA!
its amazing really how far i've realized i've grown from these memories obtained from just listening to one bleeding mixtape.


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