the mess i've made

iselin steiro by mario sorrenti for Interview March 2010

i would have taken a picture of how my cupboard looked like with literally an avalanche of clothes piled up so high that one could really wonder the struggle i have to go through every time i needed to pick out a top. because how i've already come to terms with the changes in my life that i've decided to do a major spring clean. i threw out a huge bag of clothes which reminded me of how i used to be; clingy clubbing tops, floral dresses, worded t-shirts, DIY projects gone wrong & clothes 2 sizes too small. i guess i no longer have the problem of holding onto things which are irrelevant to me. this applies to other real-life scenarios. why hold on to things which were once phases in your life you have no intention of going back to?

weirded out in the morn

i had a dream that i entered this old looking mall slash hotel. inside it was all dimly lit and probably has a wet smell. i remembered going through the place looking for an exit. but then i went up and down flights of stairs. one had those cockroaches on it. not the cockroaches you'll normally see but the ones with the hard exterior from the dinosaur ages. so it was there on the step and i went around it. but when i went across the stairs again, i didn't see it but i felt something HUGE crawling up my leg and it was under my jeans. so i had to try yanking it out and threw it down the stairs. and then i found Julia's room. she was on her doubledecker bed reading a book. she told me to go through the kitchen door to exit but while almost heading out, i saw my dad & he was asking me all sorts of questions and kept showing me his phone cause it has a picture of me. then Aunty Suzy calls me out asking me to go to lunch but it was a fancy lunch and i was suddenly wearing shorts so i didn't wanna go but my dad kept insisting for me to go. somehow then i ended up in the mall with Harith. and then suddenly he said he had to go hide somewhere so he runs off. i wanted to go look for him but then suddenly i saw Steffi and Nicola walking upstairs. i called them out and was a bit upset cause Steffi said she was only coming back in a few days but she lied. and lagi upset was when she was just like "Hi! okay take care of yourself..." and left. oh and then just as i was about to continue looking for Harith, Miriam called me out to help me look for presents for Ammar. she could not decide which teddy bear to get posing with which heart it's carrying. and in the midst of helping her, i was worried that Harith is missing, Steffi had forgotten about me and that i had a cockroach crawl up my leg earlier.

the reason while i'm wrote this down because my dreams never looked and felt so vivid in my life. excuse the sentence construction. had to write it in a hurry before all memories of it are lost in my head.

happy beings are beings in denial

Natalia Vodianova for February Vogue UK by Nick Knight

is there such a thing as a permanent form of happiness?

i think not. unless you are drugged up 24/7 & then die a painful death.

so my current form of happiness which is also my depression is my hair. i'm HAPPY that it's finally covering my ears. well almost at least. and DEPRESSED because it's so thick & blah that i cannot do anything about it.

& i'm happy to express all these feelings i've been building up just because 6557 miles is a long way to go in case of a confrontation on said feelings were to happen. seeing you right now will make me go all jelloid & then i would just DIE.

semi-confessions

i feel like the boy in this relationship (or lack of)
i am worried that i am not worried about whatever happened.
i find it strange that you have somewhat a weird fascination towards me that makes you think you could control or have a say with what i do.
i'm sorry but i see no long-term plans with someone like you for the reasons above.
most nights got me thinking about how it all started and i have no choice but to place a pillow on my face and scream.
not because i regretted it but because it was going against my principles.
so yes i have been trying to avoid seeing you simply because i am afraid that you are expecting more with every visit.




and yet, i still answer your phone calls.

late night lessons #1

how to eat a chicken wing...

micasa

so Chibs and I went house hunting the other day, and we just had to buy this on impulse. although the color is a bit off... we will paint it over. apparently Bill Gates once owned it.
so guys meet Villa La Leopolda.
my new home away from home.
next stop for our house hunt; Africa baby!




(damn how i miss our "serious" conversations about our life all over the world)

3

i think i need one of this to get around. and i think it's not for kids because the colors and really minimal although it does not hurt having a bright neon one. tricycles brings me back to ramming my baby brother's Little Tykes tricycle towards my house gate back in the day when a) i had a wilder imagination; b) my brother was puny; & c) i had no one else to play with...

reasons why this tricycle is perfect for my lifestyle:
1. i am very lazy. thus the seat it perfect for me to lean back while enjoying a Chocolate Cream Chip Frap from starbucks in one hand while steering with the other.
2. i could somewhat still work out my legs which is getting flabbier and flabbier as the day passes. wait, scratch that as i've been hanging out with Harith & Matt EVERYDAY!! EATING every single meal of the day in one long continuous seating...

3. i can't ride a bicycle. yeah yeah yeaaaaaaaaah, SHUDDUP!

plastic girls

girls turning heads. girls giving heads. these are the new breed of girls born out of the pop culture of "reality" television and Mean Girls. the portrayal of lifestyle and attitude relates closely to the educational value of something The Hills might offer. sadly these includes the upper class of people who have so much going for them and yet the brain content they choose is saddening.

throwing at boys who will catch them with open arms especially with their tops unbuttoned and o-lips. don't blame the boys because why waste such a pretty prey?

why plastic girls attract males:
1. easy to mold thus able to take on any shape. they'll be whatever you want.
2. perfect physique. to be attracted to.
3. flexible. for post-party purposes.
4. hollow inside. easy conversations about the weather.
5. constantly smiling. will not say no.

skin on bones

there are people out there who considers this beautiful.
i think this is appropriate for Halloween.
and the best Skeletal costume goes to...

on why i wanna be in Bristol right now

picture credits to Snappycat on Flickr

Banksy; one of my favorite graffiti vandal artist held an exhibition at the Bristol Museum. he's like a genius at creating art on the streets with hidden political messages. he's so awesome in fact that i did an entire store concept proposal based on him for my Visual Merchandising final assignment which i aced! can i be in Bristol already? then i can also visit my other favorite crew:

thhhhhhhhhhh

i hate going to spas because i hate getting massaged. i think getting massaged is like getting tortured even though i specifically tell them to do it gently. however if it is a snake massage... i would REALLY consider. first of all they are SNAKES and not a petite girl with massive knuckles who has an exotic english accent! second of all its not gonna hurt unless they are venomous but i highly doubt it or they could crush you... hmmm... but this is seriously worth a try ;)

WTF tahap dewa

what's next? a 90-year old woman sprinting on the tracks????

the morning after

"so which part of town did you go yeah?"
"uptown. went home with a man. although i think he's married. got 20 quids."
"that ain't that bad yeah?"
"i 'spose. you bailed after prom too?"

itsy bitsy spider

this is the Brown Recluse Spider. i'm sure you've seen these spiders around as its not that uncommon. mind you this is not those skinny legged ones you see hybernating between your books or the tiny brown ones you see scampering away at the sight of you. these are the ones which if you see them you will surely either piss in your pants or try to stay far from it as possible because its bigger than the usual spiders you see thus making it more noticable.

here's a few videos of what happens when you get bitten. to make it look slightly better in case you are faintish, i specifically picked videos where the victim are quite good looking and has a hot body. just to distract you ;) but seriously, the bite is nastyyyy!!

sewer monster

if you haven't seen the video at the post below; please do. because this guy looks like the sewage monster. HAHAHAH!

something gross is living in your sewers

fucking hell this looks completely JIJIK! (i'm saying JIJIK because it sounds more disgusting than the word "disgusting" itself)

tapi sebagaimanapun, its VERY cool to watch!!!!!!

japanese people are weirdly amusing

so i came across this late one night and for once i felt deeply disturbed by this new body modification technique. now i've seen plenty of body modification techniques ranging from corset piercings, implants, genital piercings, hooks, etc but nothing freaks me out as much as this one because as compared to the rest, i think this is the UGLIEST shit i've ever seen. EVER! i mean seriously why would people do THIS to themselves. they look like The Hunchback of Notre Dame from Disney with the abnormal looking head.

apparently saline water is injected beneath the skin creating pockets of saline liquid and thus it bubbles up. by the way this is done in a Japanese club and people actually go there and pay money to look like a diformed uruk hai from Lord of The Rings.

"excuse me, i would like 2 bagels on my head to go please.."

what draws people into doing this is because the effect is only temporary. but still...

he does not look comfortable nor happy at all.

gambar lucah tapi selamat untuk tempat kerja

the heavy saturation, the bikinis, the half naked men... a great backdrop for an 80s' softcore movie or a good trojan condoms advertisement. or maybe sunblock? either ways this picture reaks sleaziness, hot hot sex and sticky ejaculation.

me on awesome parenting

the new promo poster for Dexter's upcoming season. apparently he's gonna be a dad (WOW!). i know this because i read the synopsis. stopped watching by season 3 because i didn't feel like it? maybe i should give it another go since i have anout 7 more days to kill (HAHAHA that pun was totally unintentional) whoa, if Dexter becomes a dad i think he'll be the BEST DAD ever simply because if anyone messes with his kid, expect to never see them ever again. maybe when you go scuba diving and happen to see them in black bags under the ocean :)

i laughed at this because the Mom who took this picture looked amused at her daughter's perfectly sculpted ass. damn, i would be too... but still would you ask YOUR MOM to take a picture of you in your underwear so that you can either post it online or send it to your boyfriend so that he can make it as his wallpaper?

appreciate your pets

this is what Snoop Dog will look like when he loses ALL his money when he's old and grey and becomes delusional that he's the best rapper in the world.

haha meet Miss Ellie, who won the World's Ugliest Pedigree award. damn right son!